There is an Atlanta Falcons player named Michael Penix Jr. With a last name like that, you know that is going to cause problems for chyron operators in news departments. And that is exactly what happened to WTOC in Savannah.
I am not sure if that person writing his name into the chyron misheard the surname or if muscle memory caused him to do it, but the last name appeared as Penis on the screen.
So whatever way it happened, I am glad it did. Because seeing the word penis during a newscast will always be funny, that is, unless their last name is Penix, and they have heard that joke their whole lives.
Scarlett Johansson was on Today today to promote Jurassic World Rebirth, and she brought one of her co-stars with her. Who was it? Jonathan Bailey, the man she has been kissing on the lips all over the world? Nope, it was Delores, a baby dinosaur.
That’s right, an awwwdorable baby dinosaur. So freaking cute that I just want to kiss her. While that is me, it was not what Craig Melvin wanted to do. However, after some egging on by the actress and the crew, he agreed to do it. As soon as he did, it was love at first scale. If I were his wife, Lindsay Czarniak, I would be nervous that he might leave me for his new love!
Seriously, wasn’t their moment so sweet? His kids, Delano and Sybil, need to convince him to get one. I am already trying to convince my cat to let me get one, but she said no.
I am typically not the person who gets scared because I have imagined all the ways that people can scare me. However, if you sneak up behind me and I am concentrating on something (because I need to use my only brain cell to do that), I will scream like I am in an ’80s Horror movie.
I am not alone. Today on Today, when Craig Melvin was sitting on one of the dragons (Toothless) from the live-action version of How to Train Your Dragon, teasing what was coming up next, Al Roker snuck up behind him and made him scream like he was in a ’90s Horror movie called Scream.
Even the film’s stars, Mason Thames and Nico Parker, got a little terrified by the scream! They are also screaming for you to see their movie this Friday the 13th!
Pregnant Olivia Jaquith was two days past her due date, but she still showed up to work yesterday at WRGB in Schenectady, New York, to anchor the news.
However, when she got there, her water broke at 4:15a. So you would think that she would tell her boss, “I am out of here and heading to the hospital,” especially since it is her first baby.
But she stayed and anchored all three hours. Why? She said, “I’d rather be at work than the hospital.” That totally makes sense. But still.
As of now, there is no word on whether she has had her baby, but she did take a sick day!
UPDATE: WRGB says that Jaquith gave birth to a boy!
Today we learned the pigeons outside the White House are either Democrats or hate Fox News. That is because, as Peter Doocy was reporting live on Fox & Friends, a bird landed on the back of his head.
The reporter ducked down, and our winged friend tried to attack him. But sadly, it never made contact with him again.
And what’s even sadder, it did not shit on his head. Then, we could’ve said that Fox News is full of bird shit! Hopefully, next week, that bird will rectify that with his rectum!
The nepo baby got no support from Brian Kilmeade, Ainsley Earhardt, nor Lawrence Jones because all they did was laugh at him and make jokes about it. Kilmead had the best one, he said, “I hope it doesn’t have the flu.”
Doocy did not handle his attack like a real man. Instead, he acted like a pussy who needed a douche. And that is why I can Peter Douchey!
Last comment. I am surprised that, with all the times that Donald Trump has been out on the lawn, a bird never did that to him. After all, it looks like he has a bird’s nest on his head.
