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Last night Comedy Central rolled out the virginal white carpet for the Comedy Central Roast of Joan Rivers and let's just say by the end of the night that poor carpet got more action than one of the girls at Vegas' Bunny Ranch. OMG! I have never seen a Roast with more 4 letter words that I feel for the censors and editors who have to make it air worthy by August 9th. But saying that, it was sincerely the funniest Roast yet. Joan River's plastic surgeon is going to be busy today repairing all the roasters who were ripped a new one because there were a lot of new a$$holes created there!!! No one was safe and I don't think some of them could've seen what was coming at them and that was a good thing. There were things said last night, I am not sure Carl Reiner, who is 87, was old enough to hear!!! Kathy Griffin had the honor of being the roast master and she took it like the drag queen that she is! After Joan Rivers downed two glasses of wine in 10 seconds, she went up to give it like she took it, she came out swinging as in she slapped Kathy Griffin right across the face and Kathy suddenly looked a whole lot better. Serial roasters Greg Giraldo and Jeffrey Ross also came out once again swinging and they hit some home runs as usual, but they were also hit by a lot of pitches! No one, even, Whitney Cummings knew who she was before the roast but just like your first orgasm (playing off of cummings) you will remember it! She threw more punches than Mike Tyson did early on his career. Carl Reiner was the senior roaster for the night because I don't think are comedians alive older than Joan Rivers and let's just say this isn't the man that wrote some of the squeaky classic comedy of the TV's golden era. I don't know how they are going to air his most of his roast. Robin Quivers was another new person to the panel and I loved how she gave it with a big old smile on her face, but I felt bad because some of the jokes made towards her went somewhere they shouldn't have. Brad Garret, Gilbert Gottfried, Tom Arnold and Mario Cantone rounded out the list.
Before the show even got started, the white carpet was just as jam packed and below are some pictures from the funny night. During the next two weeks leading up to the show on August 9th, I will post the interviews I got from the night.
House's Peter Jacobson came out because he plays a plastic surgeon on TV and we all know Joan Rivers loves a good plastic surgeon. I also asked him for some spoilers for the upcoming season of House, and you will have to see if he told me any…
Jackie Collins came out to see Kathy Griffin and maybe learn a new word for one of her upcoming novels. Talking about that she told me her next one, Poor Little Rich Girl, is coming out in February and from what she told me she just gets better with age!!!
Jackie Collins isn't the only with a new book coming out, Jeffrey Ross took some time in between Roasts to write a book called I Only Roast the Ones You Love that is coming out on September 15th. Hopefully he gives tips how to roast your friends because I would so enjoy doing that! Gary Valentine was out there for a good time! He has a new webseries on Crackle.com called Dusty Peacock which is a good time waster until The Comedy Central Roast of Joan Rivers airs on August 9th! Claudia Jordan was the only person who was on Celebrity Apprentice with Joan to walk the red carpet. She was the bigger woman and was there to support to her former-team mate. She also told me that even though Donald Trump fired her from the show, he recently hired to do something else! Wait until you hear what deal he made with her!
On October 14th Comedy Central will debut a show you for all you dateless people who would rather be out on a date… Secret Girlfriend. These 4 people will go out on a date with you, I am intrigued to see how it all plays out. Plus if the show is as funny as these 4 potential daters, I am really looking forward to my date with the guy in the blue shirt!!! Kathy Griffin was ready for the night when she walked the carpet, but I don't think you could ever be ready for what goes on during the roast especially if you are the Roast Master.
Melissa Rivers was there for her mom which is a no duh. What was a surprise is that she actually got up and roasted her mom and the other roasters. She said it best "Unlike the other people up here, I know I am not a comedian." Ouch!
The biggest thing I learned about Robin Quivers last night, she doesn't need Howard Stern. She can stand on her own and boy she made me laugh more than she does any show she does with Howard Stern!!!
Tom Arnold was the last person to walk the carpet and he was great person to end that part of the night! And yes during the roast, Roseanne was mention more than once. When is Comedy Cental going to roast her???
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