Seriously? OMG! WTF?

Wonder what the over/under is on R. Kelly losing any more body parts before his long-coming kiddie-porn trial actually starts? The embattled R&B star is down one after undergoing an emergency appendectomy Sunday. The operation forced Kelly to miss a court date in advance of said trial. The 40-year-old singer’s appendix burst after he performed at a Super Bowl party. He was admitted to Jackson Memorial Hospital in Miami, where, a short time later, doctors removed the offending organ. Kelly’s attorney, Terence Gillespie, said that the "Bump ‘N Grind" purveyor was in good condition and was due home outside Orlando Thursday. But the surgery meant that Kelly, whose first name is Robert, couldn’t make it to a status hearing Wednesday in his hometown of Chicago, where he’s facing 14 counts of child pornography. Kelly was indicted back in 2002 after a videotape surfaced that purportedly showed him having sex with a 13-year-old girl; the singer has maintained his innocence ever since.

E! Online 

His court date was resceduled for 2/21.

Film icon Tony Curtis is bouncing back from his medical issues, according to his reps, while emphatically denying a German report that he has cancer. "Absolutely untrue," a source close to Curtis said Friday. "He's making a remarkable recovery. He's walking and getting his strength back." Curtis, who recently was hospitalized for three weeks with pneumonia, was reported to be back in physical rehab. Curtis' assistant, Julie McRey, said the 81-year-old actor "does not have cancer. He's doing great. He has about two more weeks of therapy."

Norm Clarke 

I had not heard the cancer rumors, but in case any you have here is the update! Hopefully he will be better soon!

It’s been some time since I checked in to let you know how I’m doing. I had hoped to be back in my seat in the balcony alongside my partner Richard Roeper, but the surgeons tell me they will have to take a staged, multi-phased approach to getting me back in shape. To borrow from the Chicago Bears, we tried for the long pass, but now we’re going for a series of shorter passes until we score a touchdown.

Although I won’t be able to conduct my red carpet interviews at the Academy Awards, I plan to conduct my "Outguess Ebert" contest in the Sun-Times, and I intend to work with WLS/ABC 7 to make my predictions for the Oscars. In fact, I am eagerly awaiting watching the Academy Awards like a regular spectator for the first time. And Richard and the guest hosts will carry on our tradition on "Ebert & Roeper" of telling who they think should win.

All of the tickets for my Overlooked Film Festival have sold out, and we expect to have some nice surprises in Champaign-Urbana April 25-29. I published two books this fall: "Awake in the Dark" and the "Movie Yearbook 2007." And I am working on the follow-up to "I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie," tentatively called, "Your Movie Sucks." I am also looking forward to contributing to the very handsome "Ebert & Roeper" website (www.AtTheMoviesTV.com).

In the meantime, my dear wife Chaz and I want to thank my loyal viewers and readers for keeping us in their thoughts and prayers. We have been receiving a steady stream of calls, letters, flowers and e-mails and they have sustained us through this time out.

I am especially grateful to Gwynne Thomas, Janice Marinelli and Sal Sardo at Buena Vista for their staunch support during this ordeal. They have also worked so hard with Richard Roeper and Don Dupree to get the best guest critics to help maintain the mission of the show. The show has been consistently interesting and informative thanks to all of them.

I am also extremely grateful to Emily Barr, Ron Magers, Jennifer Graves and Marsha Jordan at WLS/ABC 7, who have not only kept my work on the air, but who have been at my bedside when I really needed them.

Finally, thanks to John Cruikshank, John Barron, Laura Emerick and Miriam Dinunzio and my other friends at the Chicago Sun-Times for keeping an interesting mix of my work in the papers whenever possible. Thanks to Sue Roush and Donna O’Brien at AM Universal Press Syndicate; John Cary and Jim Emerson at RogerEbert.com; special thanks to my agents, Don and Eliot Ephraim; and my eternal gratitude to our Personal Assistant, Carol Iwata.

Now that I have extended more thanks than an Oscar winner, let me just say that I hope to return soon. As Faulkner says: "We shall not merely prevail, we shall endure."

Roger Ebert 

I hope he scores a touchdown soon 

Film icon Tony Curtis was released from St. Rose Dominican Hospital on Friday after a two-week stay to battle pneumonia. "He’s coherent, and he’s doing great now," said Curtis’ assistant, Julie McRay, "but say a prayer for him." Too weak to walk, Curtis, 81, was checked into a physical rehabilitation facility.

Norm Clarke (story) and Tony Curtis (photo)

I hope he gets better soon and I will be praying for him. 

JORDAN’S disabled son suffered serious burns when he stepped into abath and ran scalding water over himself after slipping away from his mum. The Sun told how glamour girl Jordan was “worried sick” after partially-sighted HARVEY, four, was injured on New Year’s Eve. Last night a pal revealed how his right leg was stripped of skin below the knee after he wandered unseen from a family gathering. There are now fears the lad, who was born with crippling disabilities, may be scarred for life. Harvey was fully clothed when he stepped into the bath at pregnant Jordan’s new £3million home in Ockley, Surrey, and turned on the 60°C hot tap. Last night it was unclear how long he remained in the water before he was discovered. But sources said that his injuries were inadvertently made worse when he was found as his frantic rescuer tore off his trousers, taking skin with them. A source close to Jordan, 28, said: “It’s a million-to-one freak accident. “No one could have stopped it.” Jordan and husband PETER ANDRE, 33, have been keeping a bedside vigil as Harvey recovers at a London hospital.

The Sun 

This poor kid has been through so much, it is so sad. I he gets better soon and I hope he will not be in too much pain.

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