In a time when we just need a movie to make us feel good, Dreamworks is releasing Abominable on September 27th. A sweet movie that proves friends come in all shapes, sizes and creatures.
The movie is described as, “When teenage Yi (Chloe Bennet, Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.) encounters a young Yeti on the roof of her apartment building in Shanghai, she and her mischievous friends, Jin (Tenzing Norgay Trainor) and Peng (Albert Tsai), name him ‘Everest’ and embark on an epic quest to reunite the magical creature with his family at the highest point on Earth. But the trio of friends will have to stay one-step ahead of Burnish (Eddie Izzard), a wealthy man intent on capturing a Yeti, and zoologist Dr. Zara (Sarah Paulson) to help Everest get home.”
It reminds of Big Hero 6 which is the type of feature I watch whenever I need to make a bad day turn into a better one. We need more movies like this and I am glad we are getting another one to add to our libraries.
45 years ago, Black Christmas aka Silent Night, Evil Night scared moviegoers just days before the holiday. This year, an updated version (or second remake) of the 1974 movie is coming to theaters on Friday the 13th of December.
The slasher film is described as, “Hawthorne College is quieting down for the holidays. But as Riley Stone (Imogen Poots, Green Roomn) and her Mu Kappa Epsilon sisters-athlete Marty (Lily Donaghue, The CW’s Jane the Virgin), rebel Kris (Aleyse Shannon, The CW’s Charmed), and foodie Jesse (Brittany O’Grady, Fox’s Star)-prepare to deck the halls with a series of seasonal parties, a black-masked stalker begins killing sorority women one by one.
“As the body count rises, Riley and her squad start to question whether they can trust any man, including Marty’s beta-male boyfriend, Nate (Simon Mead, Same But Different: A True New Zealand Love Story), Riley’s new crush Landon (Caleb Eberhardt, Amazon’s Mozart in the Jungle) or even esteemed classics instructor Professor Gelson (Cary Elwes).
“Whoever the killer is, he’s about to discover that this generation’s young women aren’t about to be anybody’s victims”
As someone who loves horror movies based on holidays, I am thoroughly excited for this movie. Especially because it looks like Blumhouse is keeping it old school. As in letting the suspense of the kill scares as compared to horrible CGI effects. That and last year I saw so many Christmas based horror movies, I need a new one to add to my viewing list.
You can watch the original Black Christmas on TubiTV for free now. Something I will be doing to get me in the mood for the holidays. If you have never seen it, it is one of the scariest Christmas horror movies ever made and believe me, I would know.
I have seen several horror movies where inanimate objects are the killing force in them. For example, The Refrigerator is about a fridge that lures people inside and eats them. There there is Death Bed: The Bed that Kills is where if you lie down in it, it will swallow you whole. Finally, there is Rubber about a tire that kills people by telekinetically blows up their heads. Of course, there are the typical killer doll and cars movies, but those are so played out.
Anyways, coming in October, we are getting a new killer inanimate object. Killer Sofa is about a recliner that is possessed by a malevolent Jewish Spirit. Oy!
Killer Sofa is described as, “Francesca always attracted weirdos. When one of her stalkers is found dead, she looks for comfort from her best friend, Maxi. Meanwhile, Maxi’s grandfather, Jack, a disgraced Rabbi, comes across a reclining chair containing a Dybbuk inside. Jack and his voodoo sorceress partner try to find out where the recliner has been delivered while exploring Jack’s newfound gift for communicating with the other world. Meanwhile the reclining chair becomes enchanted by Francesca and starts committing crimes of passion.”
Who says Hollywood is out of ideas? New Zealand that is who. That is where this future classic was made. I would rather watch this than any potential Oscar-nominated movie. The Joker looks like a total downer, this looks like something that will bring joy into your life. That or make you want to throw out all of your sofas, love seats and recliners.
What more do I have to say to make you see the smartest film of the year?
Who says horror has run out of ideas? I have. However, every now and again, we get a movie with an original concept. Replace is one of those movies and it will be available on home video on October 1st.
Replace is described as, “Afflicted with a dermatological disease, young and beautiful Kira (Rebecca Forsythe) discovers that she can replace her skin with that of other girls. Helped by her lover, she plots a murder and the victim becomes her donor, but when the disease returns, she is forced to find more victims.” The movie also stars Scream Queen Barbara Crampton.
Not only is the idea new, but it also looks like it will make our skin crawl. When was the last time a horror movie did that to you?
Every now and again, comes a movie that instantly becomes a cult classic. The VelociPastor is this year’s addition to that list. It is throwback to those awful Kung Fu movies of the ’70s with a modern feel. One that has a preist turning into a velociraptor. You read that right and that is why you are going to watch it and love it.
Doug Jones (Greg Cohan) is a preist who loves his job and follows what his boss tells him to do. Then one day, he walks out of the church to greet his parents. Just as he waves hello to them, it turns into a goodbye because someone blew up their car.
He decides to get over his parents’ death by traveling to China. While he is sightseeing in the woods, he comes across a woman who was just struck bye an arrow. With her final breaths she gives him an artifact and tells him to destroy it. Since she said it in Chinese, he did not understand her warning. To make matters worse, he cuts his hand on the tooth that she gave him.
When he gets back to the states, he just think his hand is not healing because of an infection. Turns out it is something more. When he goes for a stroll one night, he stops a man from mugging a woman. Well, he does not do it. The dinosaur he has become kills that thug.
He goes home with the woman whose life he saved and spends the night at her place. He has no memory of what happened, and he thinks he slept with her. Even though Carol (Alyssa Kempinski) is a hooker, she tells him nothing happened between them. Then she shares with him what really happened and suggests him that they should work together to stop evil.
At first he turns her down, but then he murders the man who killed his parents. Once he realizes how good it feels to kill the bad guy, he decides to team up with Carol. The two of them are killing mission, but there are many people who want to kill him. They find themselves being chased by people from his church and Ninjas. The latter team up to get him, but are they enough to stop The VelociPastor?
You are not going to want miss this movie. Just when you think you know what is going to happen next, they find a way to surprise us.
Not only is the plot ridiculous, so is the acting and special effects. Which makes this film even more divine. We need more films that are willing to go there and not take themselves seriously. If you are going to come up with ludicrious movie, you just have to go all out with the wackiness. And they do. Boy, do they.
The VelociPastor is available on home video for you to enjoy over and over and over again. Make sure to have the drinks ready because you are going to want to come up with your drinking game for this film. It is better not to watch it sober.
