Seriously? OMG! WTF?

Madonna has cleared up rumours she and husband Guy Ritchie are planning to adopt a child by revealing she’s actually planning to play mum to an African village.The pop superstar set tongues wagging when news broke about her reported links to African adoption agencies last month.More recent reports even suggested the singer and her movie maker husband were even seeking new dad Brad Pitt’s advice on adoption after he became the legal guardian of girlfriend Angelina Jolie’s two adopted children.But now Madonna has revealed, through her aides, she has much bigger plans.In a statement released yesterday, a spokeswoman says, "Actually she is adopting a village of children… Madonna is participating in the building of a school and home for hundreds of kids in Malawi, Africa and that is her current passion and commitment."

WENN 

Madonna’s Note to Australian Fans

Posted: 13 July 2006

To my fans in Australia

Please forgive me. I really did hope and expect to come to Australia during the Confessions Tour and asked my managers to try to include some shows there. I have fond memories from previous tours.Unfortunately, the logistics just didn’t work out this time around. We looked into going from Japan to Australia and ending the show there but I have to get my kids back into school in England and they are, as you can understand, my most important priority. The important thing to remember is that I’m not retiring anytime soon and I am gonna get to Australia as soon as I can. You remain in my heart and Thank you for your continued love & support.

Love,
Madonna

Good for her for being a mother first, bad for Australia because the concert is amazing! 

No matter how hard she works out, Madonna’s wrinkly, veiny hands will always betray her true age.
But as she nears her 48th birthday next month, the singer has evidently decided the time has come to employ a little computer wizardry to help out in that department.
Smiling into the camera lens as part of her latest modelling assignment, the singer reveals a miraculous new set of younger hands.

Daily Mail (Thanks Juan!)

The pop world’s most unusual partnership may be over. Madonna and Kabbalah, the once obscure sect she championed – and upon which she has lavished millions of dollars – appear to be on the verge of separation. Close friends say the singer has talked of loosening her red Kabbalah wristband and is wearying of the mystical Jewish belief system. She has decided to give it up, they say, having tired of the financial burden and the effect her strong beliefs have had on her relationship with husband Guy Ritchie. Madonna is also said to be concerned that following Kabbalah separates her children from more conventional customs such as Christmas, which they do not currently celebrate. If true, it would mark an extraordinary end to Madonna’s high-profile crusade on behalf of the cause she adopted the best part of a decade ago – and a serious financial blow to the organisation that promotes it, the Kabbalah Centre. Madonna has recruited other wealthy stars to the cause, most recently the actress Lindsey Lohan, and has bought a multi-million pound base for the sect close to her home in London.The announcement would also come out of the blue. Madonna has arranged for tickets to be set aside for Kabbalah leaders at dates on her current world tour. She was photographed leaving the Kabbalah Centre in New York on Friday with her family. Ritchie is said to be making a documentary about Kabbalah, but it is unclear whether this will be critical or positive.Yesterday a spokeswoman for Madonna, when asked about her support for Kabbalah waning, said: "As far as I am aware, it is completely untrue." The singer’s links to the version of Kabbalah that she follows are so intimate now – personally and financially – that withdrawal would be difficult, complicated and initially kept very private. The departure of Esther – the adopted Hebrew name by which she is known to fellow believers – would almost certainly provoke lengthy and expensive legal wrangling. Madonna, 47, used her interest in the Kabbalah teachings as the inspiration for her series of children’s books, which were launched in 2003 and include The English Roses and Mr Peabody’s Apples. Each of the tales has a strong moral tone, and they warn against such evils as greed and envy. Madonna’s involvement with Kabbalah has raised its profile around the world. The best known of around 3.5 million followers globally, she devotes several million pounds to the sect each year, as well as buying the venue for the London organisation at a cost of more than £3.6m.The singer has also shown her devotion by paying £12m for a Kabbalah Centre school in New York. She is said to divert a chunk of her touring profits to the organisation.Madonna’s alignment with a Jewish faith caused shockwaves when it became public because she had drawn on her Catholic roots throughout her career. This included draping herself with crucifixes and famously kissing a black Jesus in the video for her No 1 single "Like A Prayer". She gave a credit to the Kabbalah Centre for its "creative guidance" when she released her 1998 album Ray of Light and has spoken in interviews about how studying the teachings had "changed my whole outlook on life".

The Independent 

Oh this sounds so lame and I pray not true! It is being reported that Madonna is trying to do another "shocking" bit (ala kissing Britney Spears & Christina Aguilera) during her appearance at next months MTV Music Video Awards. Her bitches this time around are rumored to be Jessica Simpson & Lindsay Lohan and instead of kissing the girls, she plans to have some type of "bondage" scene with them. Jessica’s people have reportedly already been contacted and it’s said they have been in secret talks for weeks. Seriously, it was funny, cool & unexpected the first time around with Christina & Britney, but if Madonna digs to the bottom of the barrel and pulls out Jessica & Lindsay for some eyeball rolling bondage appearance, I will lose so much respect for her and I don’t want to. Please Madge, you don’t need that skanky Lindsay Lohan! Say it ain’t so!

Tabloid Whore 

Lohan I can see doing it, but Jessica? Her dad would, well, get the biggest hard-on over it! 

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