After watching the trailer for
Fifty Shades of Grey, I feel like Anastasia Grey in the red room. I feel like Christian Grey tied me up and spanked me hard. But I like to be the Christian Grey in the relationship, so the trailer did not make feel good. Kind of like Ana at the end of the first book.
The movie feels so vanilla, like it should be on Lifetime and not on the big screen. I think what causes the movie to look so awful is the casting of Dakota Johnson, who’s too mousey, and Jamie Dorman, who doesn’t ooze sex. Grey should turn everyone on in the theater, and he makes me want to go to sleep alone. And Melanie Grifftih and Don Johnson’s daughter should look innocent with a side of bad, and all she looks like is that she is going to through the motions like Buffy declared in the Once More with Feeling episode.
So will I be there on Valentine’s Day to see the book come to life, no? Will you? Eventually, I will see it in the theater because I am sure it will be a hoot and then some. Instead of being a sexy thriller, it will be a romantic comedy, heavy on the comedy an light on the romantic.
And when it comes to Beyonce’s moaning, make it stop. It sounds more like Kim Kardashian on her husband’s track then a woman who has just had the best f*ck of her life.
Fifty Shades is all about great sex and there was nothing great or sex about any of that trailer. Oh well, I will just have to wait for the pornody version of the book turned movie. Now that will be hot.
Laters.
