Every January 1st millions of people make New Year’s resolutions, and by January 2nd they are already breaking them.
After watching the cast of Shameless tell us their resolutions, I became inspired to come up with some for a few of the celebrities I blog about.
Kim Kardashian – Next time I get married, I will make sure it lasts at least 73 days. Lindsay Lohan – I will remain sober and not go back to jail again. Scarlett Johansson – I will not say something pretentious one day and something low class the next. Bradley Cooper – I will date as many single A-List actress as possible that I haven’t already dated. Are there any left? Will Ferrell and Jack Black – I will make a watchable movie. Paris Hilton – I will become a celebrity again. Demi Moore – I will date my own age. Oh that 20-something guy is so cute and he is much younger than what’s his name! Ricky Gervais – I will only make fun of people who deserve it at the Golden Globes. Charlie Sheen – I will get my job back at Two and a Half Men and never say “Winning!” again. Donald Trump – I will finally get a haircut that shows off my real hairline. The writers of Glee – We will make the show as good as it was during the first 13 episodes. Gwyneth Paltrow – I don’t need to make any resolutions, I am perfect the way I am. The casting department from Dancing with the Stars – We will cast real stars that the viewers at home have actually heard of. Simon Cowell – I will shirts that don’t show off my moobs. Richard Simmons – I will wear pants and shirts with sleeves. Pamela Anderson – I will dress my age.
