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Macy Gray wrote a song about her Battery Operated Buddy!
July 29th, 2015 under Sex Toys. [ Comments: 5 ]

Forget The Vapors’ Turning Japanese (forget what they say) and Cyndi Lauper’s She Bop, because Macy Gray just wrote the ultimate song about masturbation. For over four minutes, she sang an ode to her vibrator called BOB. Which is longer than most Bob’s can go, so you can’t blame the songstress for writing a melody about him.
BOB is so catchy, I can’t stop singing it. Just like something else I can’t stop doing.
So ladies, join me is belting out the song about the toy we use below the belt! You know you are excited to have something to hum to as your hummer hums inside of you. Ooh! Aah! Ooh!


I think we know where this anchor gets his sex toys!
July 27th, 2015 under Sex Toys, TV News. [ Comments: 2 ]

via FTV Live
KTVN was reporting on the fact that Amazon is now worth more than Walmart and anchor John Potter has his theory why. He says his “friend” who works in the factory told him it is because they sell a lot of sex toys and Walmart doesn’t sell any. It wasn’t only that he expressed his theory, it was that he kept saying it over and over again. So it has to make you wonder if really has a friend who works in the factory or that is where he gets his supply of adult toys? I am thinking it’s the latter because that is just how my mind works. What do you think?


CNN confuses a flag of sex toys for the Isis flag!
June 27th, 2015 under Sex Toys. [ Comments: none ]

CNN’s Assignment Editor Lucy Pawle had just finished her day in the London Bureau and when she got out of work the Gay Pride march was going on. She noticed a black flag that looked a lot like the Isis one, so she called into work to tell them her discovery. She took some pictures, sent them to her bosses and went live with the information. Only problem is, it was not an Isis flag. Instead it was a flag full of sex toys. Whoops.
In her defense, the flags do look alike. But how did so many people look at it and not realize that the Arabic lettering was actually Dildos? That is sad. Not only for the mistake, but that their secret drawers are empty. Maybe someone needs to take them all to a sex shoppe, so next time they will be able to spot the difference.


Harvard is teaching Anal Sex 101!
November 3rd, 2014 under Sex Toys. [ Comments: none ]

We know that Harvard students have a stick up their bums, and during Sex Week they are going to learn how to handle that stick up their bum. Each year, the Ivy League teaches their students about sex for a week, and this year they are offering “What What in the Butt: Anal Sex 101”. According to The College Fix, the workshop will “dispel myths about anal sex and give you insight into why people do it and how to do it well.” Wait there is more, “They will cover a wide variety of topics, including: anal anatomy and the potential for pleasure for all genders; how to talk about it with a partner; basic preparation and hygiene; lubes, anal toys, and safer sex; anal penetration for beginners, and much more.”
Who knew Farrah Abraham was Harvard material?
I went to the University of Miami, handed out condoms, gave lectures on safe sex, but we never learned about Anal Sex. I hate to say this, but now I am disappointed in my Alma Mater.
Seriously, who would’ve thought Harvard would be so open to teaching their students about all things sexual. It’s not like they need to sleep with their future boss to get the job. Then again when they get their first post-graduate bill; they will like they have been f*cked up the a$$. Now, UM isn’t looking so bad.


Ladies and gentlemen, there is a blow job machine!!!
October 16th, 2014 under Sex Toys. [ Comments: 5 ]

Ladies, if you are like me and hate giving your man a blow job, then there is a way you can give him the perfect one. Best part, you are not required to do it. What? Tell you all about it?
There is a new machine called the Autoblow 2, that simulates what we hate to do. So give him this present for the holidays, and you will won’t see him again until it completes its 2,000th job (Which should be just in time for next Christmas) on him. That’s because, that is life expectancy of the product. Then when it runs out, all you need to do is run out and buy him a new one.
So how much is this eighth wonder of the world, it retails for £144.95 ($232.83). That price is reasonable. Just trade in one of the diamonds he gave you to go down on him, and you won’t have to do it again. C’mon admit it; you totally made him give you gifts for that. I know I am not alone. Plus, now that he is occupied with his toy, you will have time to use his credit card to buy whatever your heart desires. And the best part is, you didn’t have to do anything to get it. Although, I guess you should get a present for Autoblow 2 because she is giving your mouth a much needed break.
Now boys, you won’t need to deal with a bitchy girlfriend or boyfriend again or even try to get one. All you have to do is go to the internet or watch your favorite movie, get out the Autoblow 2 and go to town. What more do you need if you have the Autoblow 2? Nothing! Well, maybe electricity to make her work! Oh, and lube. But once you have that, you are all set.
Plus, she swallows, so no mess clean up outside of her. Isn’t she the perfect date. You don’t have to wine or dine her, you just have to plug her in!
To the people who came up with the Autoblow 2, the world wants to thank for the best invention of this century. I don’t think there is anything that can top it. Do you?


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