What’s a guy to do when he’s "dated and made love to some of the most desirable, beautiful starlets in Hollywood" but still can’t find love? If you’re Scott Baio, you find two co-writers to package up your pinhead thoughts and try to sell a book. Perhaps emboldened by the success of early ’90s casualty Tori Spelling, who sold her memoir to Simon & Schuster for $300,000 in December (albeit, after asking for $2 million), Baio is shopping around his own, poignantly titled tell-all, BaioWatch: How I Dated and Loved Hollywood’s Most Beautiful Women and Ended Up Alone.
On losing his virginity at the age of 16 to Happy Days co-star Erin "Joanie" Moran:
"I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to say after we got naked. So for the first five minutes, maybe less—hell, it might have been the first twenty seconds—I’m doing it and thinking, man, this is really uncomfortable. What happened was, my thing was between the cushions on the couch and I didn’t even know it. Instead of being inside Erin, I was humping a corduroy sofa!"
On being a teen heartthrob:
"I got tight with Charles Laufer, the owner and publisher of Tiger Beat, which became an effective promotional tool…. One girl sent me her underwear that she’d peed and menstruated in, didn’t wipe and ran a mile in, so I could have her natural body fluids and odors.
On how he managed to pull chicks while partying at the Playboy Mansion with Charles in Charge co-star (and Radar correspondent Willie Ames):
"Admittedly, it’s all about money, power and fame. Sometimes Playmates will walk right up to me and grab my crotch."
On the exact moment he knew his relationship with Pamela Anderson was over:
"One day Pamela came home and said, ‘I’m thinking of getting my boobs done.’ Admittedly, I was surprised. My initial response, ‘Reduced?’ She already had large, beautiful, natural breasts. At that moment I knew our relationship would soon begin to crumble. Pamela had finally gone Hollywood—or whatever it is that happens when a woman becomes a hot celebrity."
Perhaps most bizarre, however, is an exchange he details in which a 51-year-old Minnelli tries to get Baio to become her surrogate baby daddy:
"’I really want your sperm. You’re a talented, good-looking Italian guy. That’s what I want my child to be.’ I was incredulous. ‘What are you gonna do with my sperm?’ ‘Well, I’m going to take my egg and put it into somebody else’s body.’"
Radar (check out the site for so much more!)
When I was younger I so wanted to lose my virginity to him!!! Part of me still wishes he would confuse me for some sofa cushions!!!
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