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[ # ] Oy Conan O’Brien is 1/256th Jewish!!!
December 19th, 2012 under Conan O'Brien


Last week on Conan the TBS late night host said he was going to hell for bringing back The Human Centipede Menorah to his show on Monday and Thursday. Well yesterday a fan (rightfully) corrected him that he was doing it wrong. Well Conan O’Brien who is 255/256th Irish revealed that he is 1/256th Jewish and his great great great great great great great grandfather Rabbi Elijah Ben Schlomo Zalman Idon’tknowhowtospellthelastname, 18th century’s greatest Rabbinical scholar from Lithuania, wrote from his learnings in the Talmud that “The lights of Chanukkah are kindled from left to right unless, this is very unlikely, your menorah is made from humans connected from mouth to tuchases.” So oy, I guess, he had that right.
But he’s still going to hell for the sin he committed with his Human Centipede Menorah. And his hell will be each day he will be given the biggest late night show in heaven and each night Jay Leno will take it back. And Jay Leno’s hell will be he has to interview Jimmy Kimmel every night. And Jimmy Kimmel’s hell is he has to be interviewed by Leno every night. Hey hell don’t sound that bad…

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