Seriously? OMG! WTF? » What is your New Year’s Resolution?
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[ # ] What is your New Year’s Resolution?
January 1st, 2012 under SOW Greetings


Every January 1st millions of people make New Year’s resolutions, and by January 2nd they are already breaking them.
After watching the cast of Shameless tell us their resolutions, I became inspired to come up with some for a few of the celebrities I blog about.

Kim Kardashian – Next time I get married, I will make sure it lasts at least 73 days.
Lindsay Lohan – I will remain sober and not go back to jail again.
Scarlett Johansson – I will not say something pretentious one day and something low class the next.
Bradley Cooper – I will date as many single A-List actress as possible that I haven’t already dated. Are there any left?
Will Ferrell and Jack Black – I will make a watchable movie.
Paris Hilton – I will become a celebrity again.
Demi Moore – I will date my own age. Oh that 20-something guy is so cute and he is much younger than what’s his name!
Ricky Gervais – I will only make fun of people who deserve it at the Golden Globes.
Charlie Sheen – I will get my job back at Two and a Half Men and never say “Winning!” again.
Donald Trump – I will finally get a haircut that shows off my real hairline.
The writers of Glee – We will make the show as good as it was during the first 13 episodes.
Gwyneth Paltrow – I don’t need to make any resolutions, I am perfect the way I am.
The casting department from Dancing with the Stars – We will cast real stars that the viewers at home have actually heard of.
Simon Cowell – I will shirts that don’t show off my moobs.
Richard Simmons – I will wear pants and shirts with sleeves.
Pamela Anderson – I will dress my age.

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