Seriously? OMG! WTF? » 2014 » May
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Putting a ring on ‘it’ sent a man to the ER!
May 31st, 2014 under Sex Sent Me to the ER. [ Comments: none ]


Sex Sent Me to the ER has some important lessons tonight at 9p on TLC and you don’t want to miss them.
A man shows up to the ER with an obstruction down there and the doctor can’t believe what he sees when the patient lifts his gown. The guy’s royal jewels are swollen because he has a steel ring around them all that just won’t come off. So the doctor tells him they have to get the ring off of them ASAP or he will lose his most prized possessions. The doctor tries a ring cutter, but it doesn’t even leave a scratch. No matter what he tries, nothing seems to work. So there is one last thing he can try, but will it work? You just have to tune in to see what comes off first, the jewelry or his jewels.
Another couple has smashing sex that sends them to the ER. Well not the smashing way they wanted because in the heat of passion, he stands up, passes out and falls backwards on to a glass table. Is he OK and what caused him to pass out?
Finally the last couple learns something else you should not do while operating heavy machinery and that is have sex in it. The husband is a construction worker about to get off of work, when his wife shows up. Since everyone has left for the day, he invites her to come up into the backhoe so that they can have sex. His plan is working out great for them until she touches the wrong gear shift. A sudden thrust from the tractor, causes the heavy door to close on his wrist and his wife to smash her head against the window. As soon as she comes to, they rush to the hospital. How will they explain what happened, especially after someone from his Church winds up being his doctor.
So tonight’s most important lesson, is that if you are going to put a ring on it, make sure to only put it on the finger and not on the balls and stick. Although you’d think they would’ve already learned that lesson from my favorite Rescue Me episode Inches.

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The Arsenio Hall Show cancelled after getting a 2nd season pickup
May 30th, 2014 under Arsenio Hall. [ Comments: none ]


Just a few a weeks after The Arsenio Hall Show was picked up for a second season, CBS Television Distribution decided to cancel it. According to Variety, the show was facing downgrades from several stations and the syndicated late night show became too expensive to produce.
Not only was the show cancelled after being told it would be back. Arsenio will not get a goodbye show because production was halted immediately on the show permanently. The talk show was in repeats this week and will not be doing any new ones in the future. And I think that is unfair to late night legend. He should have been allowed to have a sendoff week. Don’t you think?
BTW come September, Late Night will once again be an all white man’s game because with Arsenio gone now and Chelsea Handler leaving in August, that leaves Conan O’Brien, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon, Seth Meyers, David Letterman, Craig Ferguson (only non-American by birth), Jon Stewart (the only Jew) and Stephen Colbert. So CBS that leaves it up to you to add some variety to late night when you replace Craig Ferguson. I still suggest JB Smoove, Craig Robinson, Tracy Morgan, Jane Lynch and/or Matthew Perry.
And after I typed all of that, I forgot that come next year we are getting The Minority Report with Larry Wilmore. But I still think we need a little more variety on late night. If daytime can do it, why can’t they do the same 12 hours later?
Finally, this has been a really crappy week for Arsenio. Not only did he lose his show, he also lost out on his bid to buy the Clippers.

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Bret Michaels’ medical emergency explained
May 30th, 2014 under Bret Michaels. [ Comments: none ]


Bret Michaels was forced to leave the stage yesterday because of a medical emergency during a concert in Manchester, NH and today they explained what happened on his website.

As previously announced, Entertainer Bret Michaels was physically forced to
leave the stage last night at the Palace Theater in Manchester, New
Hampshire due to complications involving insulin shock & severe low blood sugar, along with other conditions which doctors later determined included exhaustion/dehydration/fever and the noro flu virus. Michaels attempted to return to the stage to finish the show however it was clear to the band, crew, and audience that he would not be able to continue, as he walked of the stage and became violently Ill.
Paramedics present at the show immediately responded and 911 was notified. Unable to keep substance in his system complications with his insulin levels and inability to balance his blood sugar levels arose. Michaels was rushed by ambulance to CMC (Catholic Medical Center), and monitored through the evening as doctors tried to bring his blood sugar back to healthy levels.
Under strict medical direction Michaels will not be able to perform this evening in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania as doctors have ordered him to let the flu virus run it’s course and let his blood sugar rebalance and remain consistent. While hoping to perform tomorrow in Albany, type 1 diabetes complicates health issues such as the nora flu virus and must be monitored and taken very seriously.

Let’s hope the Poison singer is better soon and he doesn’t have the health issues like he had in 2010.

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Squats make Khloe Kardashian’s butt expand
May 30th, 2014 under The Kardashians. [ Comments: none ]


Khloe Kardashain Tweeted this photo of herself doing squats and I couldn’t get over how much bigger her bum gets when she squated down. Seriously, look at how the L and the A get bigger when she bends. I thought that exercise made your butt smaller, not larger. But then again she is a Kardashian and that is what their a$$es do.

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Tara Reid is as happy as a pig in mud!
May 30th, 2014 under Tara Reid. [ Comments: none ]


Tara Reid Tweeted this photo of her boyfriend and her in the middle of a mud bath at the Dead Sea, and they look as happy as pigs. Which makes sense!
Actually seeing how happy they look, makes me want to get one so bad!

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