Ladies, if you are like me and hate giving your man a blow job, then there is a way you can give him the perfect one. Best part, you are not required to do it. What? Tell you all about it?
There is a new machine called the Autoblow 2, that simulates what we hate to do. So give him this present for the holidays, and you will won’t see him again until it completes its 2,000th job (Which should be just in time for next Christmas) on him. That’s because, that is life expectancy of the product. Then when it runs out, all you need to do is run out and buy him a new one.
So how much is this eighth wonder of the world, it retails for £144.95 ($232.83). That price is reasonable. Just trade in one of the diamonds he gave you to go down on him, and you won’t have to do it again. C’mon admit it; you totally made him give you gifts for that. I know I am not alone. Plus, now that he is occupied with his toy, you will have time to use his credit card to buy whatever your heart desires. And the best part is, you didn’t have to do anything to get it. Although, I guess you should get a present for Autoblow 2 because she is giving your mouth a much needed break.
Now boys, you won’t need to deal with a bitchy girlfriend or boyfriend again or even try to get one. All you have to do is go to the internet or watch your favorite movie, get out the Autoblow 2 and go to town. What more do you need if you have the Autoblow 2? Nothing! Well, maybe electricity to make her work! Oh, and lube. But once you have that, you are all set.
Plus, she swallows, so no mess clean up outside of her. Isn’t she the perfect date. You don’t have to wine or dine her, you just have to plug her in!
To the people who came up with the Autoblow 2, the world wants to thank for the best invention of this century. I don’t think there is anything that can top it. Do you?
A mother in North Wales bought her 7 year old daughter a talking Barbie and she thinks the doll is saying something it shouldn’t according to Eonline. She swears she hears the doll saying a swear. The mum is convinced the doll is saying “What the f*ck?” Personally that is what I am not hearing and neither is Mattel.
To hear what the toy company says the doll is saying, then click here!
For the last several years Toys’r’Us has been selling a boy toy called the You & Me Mommy Change My Diaper Doll, and no one complained that he is anatomically correct. That is, until now, because parents are in uproar that this little plastic doll has a penis and testicles. Because what better way to teach a kid that the opposite sex’s body is bad, but to start them with that mentally when they are just a baby. They don’t know what sexual organs are at that age, so let them feel like it is natural. It’s not like they are not going to see it anyways by the time they start school. At least this way they are prepared. Who’s with me?
In fact, I am going to buy one for my adopted niece, who is the only girl in her nursery school room. Let the infant know what she is up against. Not only will I buy her the doll for $24.99, I will also pick her up some clothes from the Kardashian Kids Kollection to go with it. It seems like the appropriate attire to play with him for some reason.
Boys, how many times have you been watching p0rn on your iPad and wish you had something there besides your hand to let you enjoy what you are seeing. Plus, it is not easy to do that and hold your iPad at the same time. Am I right? I am girl, so I don’t know. You can tell me I won’t judge.
Anyways, Fleshlight has come up with a product that will solve that problem. That’s right, for $24.95 you can buy the Fleshlight Launchpad and attach it to your iPad. But, there is a catch, you need to buy the Fleshlight too because otherwise it is useless. Don’t worry, the company is giving you a discount if you buy both. Then once they come in the mail, you are ready to try out your new app with your oldest joystick. Enjoy!
BTW I don’t think it is fair that the men have a toy like that and us women don’t. Why haven’t they come up with a reverse launchpad? Am I right, ladies? What’s fair is fair!
Up until now, to me, the scariest I ever imagined a robot could ever do, was to develop emotions. But today, that all changed. According to WNYW, a hospital in New Jersey has robot that gives birth. So does that mean they can multiply and take over the world?
At this point no because for time being she is just being used to train doctors and nurses what to do if something unusual happens while the patient is under their care.
But, in my mind, now that they can simulate birth, I am going to have nightmares about them breeding so many more baby robots like them to take over for us that I don’t foresee getting any sleep anytime soon. I am the only one with this problem?
BTW I don’t think the robot was realistic as she gave birth because I didn’t hear the Jersey girl using any four letter words when the doctors weren’t listening to her concerns. What woman in labor isn’t throwing profanities out during that time. Oh yeah, the Scientology ones, they are just thinking it while they are having their silent births.
So some company in Amsterdam, yes Amsterdam, came up with the idea for Cannibis Flavored condoms called Cannadom. I have tried chocolate, cherry, banana and mint, and I’ve never thought about tasting one that’s pot flavored. I strongly believe in flavored condoms because they make him taste better, so if pot is your flavor enjoy! And the best part is you won’t get the munchies after you are done sucking on one, but hopefully he will…
There is a new alarm cook out there that every woman will want to have that’s because it is called a Wake-Up Vibe. Basically it combines an alarm clock with a vibrator to create something that will make it even harder for you to get out of bed. And it will be the first alarm clock where you won’t want to hit snooze when it goes off because it is getting you off.
I don’t know about you ladies, but I would rather wake up that way than with that annoying beep, a screaming morning DJ or a buzzing sound. The only buzzing I want to hear at that hour should be coming from my Wake-Up Vibe.
Us ladies have vibrators that simulate sex, find our GSpots and even ones to make our clits say yes, yes, yes, and now there is one that will make us feel like we are getting oral from our lovers without all of the spit and obligations. That’s right the Lelo Ora will work its magic as good as any tongue. That’s because the massager offers, “long, seductive swirls and fast flicks alongside intense vibrations on and around the clitoris.”
So girls, if you just want to someone to go down on you, but there is no one to do it? Well the Ora will satisfy your oral needs!
BTW my birthday is cuming up and now I know what I want! Who wants to buy it for me?
So Ravijour came up with a bra that will only unhook for true love, translation if you heart is beating hard enough that it is saying yes, yes, yes to your partner it will open up for them. So if you are going out with a loser that you don’t want to go to second base with, don’t worry the bra will stay on during their unwanted advances.
The fact that someone came up with this, is pretty incredible. But the fact that a man did this, is unbelievable. I can’t believe a man came up with an invention to cock block another guy. I thought there was unwritten rule in the Bro Code book about that never happening. I mean if a woman came up with it, I would understand it better. I would also understand it better if it was a chastity belt like the one that they had in Spaceballs because that is more of a deterrent than a bra that won’t unhook.
Now having said all of this, I wish I had one of these when I was a teen because my bra came off faster than you can say second base.
Have you ever wondered what you look like during sex to your partner? Well there’s an App coming from that. Glance came up with an App that will be cuming to Google Glass and iPhones that will let you experience sex through the eyes of your partner.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to see what my face looks like when I am faking one. And I am sure he doesn’t wasn’t to see what his partner sees when he’s doing it Doggy Style.
So are you going to download this App as soon as it is available? And then if you do, are you going to try it out?