There is a woman who sculpts things out of clay and her latest work of art was turning Harry Connick Jr into a literal cheesehead. I don’t know if I should be impressed or really creeped out. I am leaning towards the latter because it is already haunting my nightmares and I haven’t been to sleep since I saw it. It was terrifying as it was, but to see him bite his nose off is an image I can’t erase.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t know the last time I saw Brendan Fraser. Well here is on Harry Connick Jr’s talk show yesterday and it is breathtaking. Not because he is still sexy but also because he sang 8 lines from I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General from Pirates of Penzance without breathing. And that is his secret talent. Even though it was impressive, it was a let down. I was hoping for something more exciting, like almost anything else.
Last year The Muppets broke our hearts when they announced that Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog broke up. Although it looked like they were going to get back together, but then the show got cancelled. Well, yesterday the World’s First Diva was on Harry Connick Jr’s daytime talk show and he wanted to know if there was a chance for them. Not for her and the American Idol judge, but our green American Idol. All she told the host is that she doesn’t know.
Miss Piggy, if there is anything we can do to make this happen, let us know. It is not about you hamming it up for the cameras, it about us wanting to jump on the lily pads with you two. I don’t know what they means either.
Let’s be honest with each other. If you saw Alfonso Ribeiro, then you would probably ask him to do The Carlton Dance for you. There is a time and a place to ask him to do that and the urinal is not one of those places. That’s right, he told Harry Connick that men will ask him to do that when he is taking a leak. Depending on the guy’s size who is asking him, he can’t exactly Tap Dance Kid his way out of it.
The morale of the story, is wait to make him dance for you until after he has zipped up, washed his hands and dryed them off. You definitely don’t want to ask him for an autograph until he is done with all of that. At least I wouldn’t.
Today on Harry, Connick Jr did something that probably no one else has ever done. Eat a cake that was made in the image of their own face. Not only did he put his lips on it, he Frenched it like it was the first girl he kissed. And when he was done, he gave himself a nose job that left him without one. But at least he liked the way he kissed. Same way I liked the taste of the first guy I Frenched because he just ate a powdered donut.