Simon Cowell loves to show off his chest by wearing his shirt half unbuttoned and that could be a problem for him when it comes to being on camera. The makeup department of America’s Got Talent made his face look good for air, but they didn’t have the talent to do the same for his chest. His top half is fair, but his bottom half is tan.
Thankfully, Heidi Klum left her mark on his face to distract our eyes from the mismatched skin.
Was it enough to help move on to the next round or do you think he needs an X?
Last time, Baron of the Universe was on America’s Got Talent, he lifted a heavy weight with just his nipples. Yesterday, he upped his game by pulling a car with them. A feat so great, that you will find yourself grabbing your nipples as you watch him. In fact, you won’t be able to remove your hands for a while afterwards.
In case you wondering how his nipples are, Simon Cowell asked that very question. He told the King of Mean that they are, “very good. They are absolutely fine.” His might be, but ours are not.
The only thing worse was Howie Mandel’s joke to the nipplifter. It was, “I could see something like this in Vegas and you offer valet parking..People leave their cars in front of the theater and you bring it into the parking areola.” Maybe the next time Baron is on the show, he lifts Mandel with just his nipples. This way the comedian can see what it looks like up close and we can get revenge on him for that joke.
America’s Got Talent has been on for 11 seasons and last night Dorothy gave the competition show one of its most memorable auditions. The 90 year old charmed the Judges before she showed them her talent. Finally, it was time for her to wow them, and she started out by singing Let Me Entertain You. Then she did, by performing a sexy strip tease with some tassel twirling.
When she was done Simon Cowell and Heidi Klum rightfully gave her standing ovation. But the best moment came when Nick Cannon broke the rules and hit the Golden Buzzer for her. That means she automatically moves on to the live shows and I can’t wait to see what she does next. Hopefully the censors will let her shake more than just her tassels!
When it comes to the host, how can any woman let him go.
Nick Cannon might only be 35 years old, but these days he is looking twice his age. I guess his divorce to Mariah Carey is really taking a toll on him. Either that or he is filming another one of his funny bits. I think it is the latter, but I wish it was the first.
So yesterday, I am sitting down checking my Twitter feed when I see Nick Cannon and Heidi Klum Live Tweeting about an act on America’s Got Talent and saying, “Not the nipples! Not the nipples!” As soon as I saw that, I knew I had to see what the hell they were Tweeting about.
They were talking about The Baron of the Universe who lifts heavy things with the assistance of medal rings from different parts of his body. Like his the middle of his nose, his eyelids and his nipples. The last one was too much for the Klum and Mel B who turned around. Simon Cowell moved his hands from covering his eyes to his nipples back to eyes and finally over his nipples again. We know how much he loves those things, so this was really painful for him. Then there was Howie Mandel who watched it without a problem.
Finally, there is us the audience, both at home and at the show, who were doing the same moves as the King of Mean. In fact, it is tough for me to type this because my hands are still on my nipples. Which is probably why, Cowell immediately declared, “My nipples hurt,” as soon as the act ended.
So is the Baron of the Universe moving on? Believe it or not, he is. I will skip that episode when it airs.