Today is Memorial Day and Jessica Simpson spent it memorializing her old her body. As in, she showed of her toned body in a bikini made in honor of the American Flag. What better way to thank our troops than for her to show of her missiles? Maybe if she did a full body show and also modeled her guns?
You know those flaps you see on trucks with women on them? Looks like Jessica Simpson is hoping to be one of them. She was seen standing next to a truck in a very short dress while posing with one leg up and I think she’d be perfect. Couldn’t you see her staring at you when you are stuck in traffic on the highway?
Ever since Jessica Simpson has had her kids, she hasn’t done a lot of singing and acting. Because of that, it looks like she is living on a budget. So much so, she is the new spokesperson for Budget Car Rental. By the looks of these two ads, this is a much better fit for her than when she was the face of Weight Watchers. Don’t you agree?
In all seriousness, I didn’t realize how cheap their rates were until these spots. Next time I rent a car, I think will choose them.
When you and I were learning how to French Kiss, Jessica Simpson was acting and singing. Because of that I guess she never learned how to do it properly. For some reason she thinks that you are supposed to do it with your tongues outside of your mouth instead of in.
Not only hasn’t she mastered Frenching, she also doesn’t understand how 2nd Base works in this photo. His hand goes there, not yours.
You would’ve thought that John Mayer would’ve taught her all of this stuff when they were dating.
On a positive note, at least she got sex right. We know that because she has two kids and not because she has a sex tape like some other people her age.
Jessica Simpson shared a photo of her daughter holding a milkshake and Maxi Drew is going to be trouble. The 3 year old posed with her hand on him hip and it’s better than yours.
I used to pose like that when I was her age, and I am trouble now. So that is how I know the cute toddler will be the same.
Dave and Odette Annable, and Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson hung out recently and the two of them swapped husbands for this photo. Was it only for a freeze frame? Mrs Annable said, “Husband swap,” so we don’t know. I mean if I were her, I wouldn’t get rid of the Heartbeat star for anything. Not only is he cute as all heck, but he also appears to be a very loving father. So I think it was just for this fun photo.
Jessica Simpson famously played Daisy Duke in The Dukes of Hazzards movie and in order to play the role she had to wear short shorts. Ten years and two kids later, she is back wearing those Daisy Dukes and she looks fantastic. She looks better than fantastic, she looks freaking phenomenal.
Jessica Simpson shared a photo of her and Maxie Drew in bed and her daughter could be her twins. It isn’t only that they have the same pout, it is everything! She is going to be a heartbreaker just like her mom when she grows up. So boys watch out.
Jessica Simpson shared a photo of herself with her daughter Maxi doing the singer’s signature pout, and the 3 and a 1/2 year old looks just like her mother. Simpson better watch out because that look could be trouble, but in a cute way!
For some reason, we don’t think of Jessica Simpson as the smartest, but turns out she isn’t as dumb as we think. She told Us Weekly 25 things we didn’t know about her and did you know she went to space camp? She said, “As a kid, I left space camp because the ice cream was dehydrated. But I still dream of being an astronaut.” OK, leaving because the ice cream is dehydrated was not the smartest choice, but there is more. She is analytical because she shared with them that she analyzes dreams with a dream book. Proving she can read. Which helps here with this other unknown fact about her, “One of my pet peeves is writing with incorrect grammar.” That is why she probably referred to herself as a “multi-hyphenate” when she declared that she knows a lot about dinosaurs that other actress/singers/moguls.
Are you shocked by how smart she is? Don’t worry, the Jessica we know and love is still in there. My favorite reveal from her 25 things we learned about her is that she takes credit for her farts. Feel better?