Today is Memorial Day and Jessica Simpson spent it memorializing her old her body. As in, she showed of her toned body in a bikini made in honor of the American Flag. What better way to thank our troops than for her to show of her missiles? Maybe if she did a full body show and also modeled her guns?
You know those flaps you see on trucks with women on them? Looks like Jessica Simpson is hoping to be one of them. She was seen standing next to a truck in a very short dress while posing with one leg up and I think she’d be perfect. Couldn’t you see her staring at you when you are stuck in traffic on the highway?
Ever since Jessica Simpson has had her kids, she hasn’t done a lot of singing and acting. Because of that, it looks like she is living on a budget. So much so, she is the new spokesperson for Budget Car Rental. By the looks of these two ads, this is a much better fit for her than when she was the face of Weight Watchers. Don’t you agree?
In all seriousness, I didn’t realize how cheap their rates were until these spots. Next time I rent a car, I think will choose them.
When you and I were learning how to French Kiss, Jessica Simpson was acting and singing. Because of that I guess she never learned how to do it properly. For some reason she thinks that you are supposed to do it with your tongues outside of your mouth instead of in.
Not only hasn’t she mastered Frenching, she also doesn’t understand how 2nd Base works in this photo. His hand goes there, not yours.
You would’ve thought that John Mayer would’ve taught her all of this stuff when they were dating.
On a positive note, at least she got sex right. We know that because she has two kids and not because she has a sex tape like some other people her age.
Jessica Simpson shared a photo of her daughter holding a milkshake and Maxi Drew is going to be trouble. The 3 year old posed with her hand on him hip and it’s better than yours.
I used to pose like that when I was her age, and I am trouble now. So that is how I know the cute toddler will be the same.