Jane Lynch was on Conan O’Brien’s show yesterday and he asked her about the Febreeze commercial she did. She told him she was full of glee to do the ad because scents are really important to her. She likes the way a person smells naturally, so the TBS late night host asked her to smell his sidekick and him to tell them what they smell like.
She then took a big whiff of Andy Richter and told him he smells like, “fresh baby diapers.” Before you like ewww, she meant the ones fresh out of the bag and not the ones fresh off of a baby who left their scent in them.
Then it was time for her breath in Conan and she told him he smells, “eggy.” What that means, I have no idea but I never think of eggs having a scent until they are rotten and then you don’t want to smell like that.
I don’t think I want to know what I smell like to her, but then again I don’t know what my scent is anymore. I change my perfumes out like every day and today I smell like Plumeria. What do you think you smell like?
For the last several years, Conan O’Brien has turned his TBS late night talk show over to the dogs one night a year, and yesterday was that night. First we got to see two White Labs dressed up as the host and his sideckick Andy Richter. They played the part just like their two-legged counterparts and just sat there.
Then it was time to introduce their first guest, a White Schnauzer dressed up as Larry King and he is the most puppylicious thing ever.
When their next guest, a Golden Lab version of Sia came out, the boy dogs do what boy dogs do. Followed her scent where ever she went. Although the boys could care less when a Greyhound looking just like Presidential candidate Carly Fiorina came out. Kind of like almost every other man who walks on two feet. I am referring to Carly not the sweet dog. I am sure most male canines would love to smell her tushie.
The next guest came all the way from Mexico, that’s right it a Chihuahua version El Chapo. He is highlarious!
Finally, it was time for the last guest of the night, and it was a poor innocent Bulldog dressed up as Donald Trump. Thankfully the show came up with a way that the pup would still be able to show his face at the dog park when the show was over. Although, I don’t think anyone will want to smell that a$$ anytime soon. Poor doggy.
I love when shows go to the animals because you never know what is going to happen next, but you know it is going to be arfdorable.
Last week, Kevin Hart and Ice Cube joined Conan O’Brien as the late host taught one of his staff members how to drive. Tonight on his TBS show, he showed some outtakes from that lesson and Hart couldn’t keep his hand off the horn. He thinks if you beep a song that the person your honking at will fear you. No, we are thinking what an idiot you are and this is why there is a road rage!
Diana, don’t listen to these guys. If someone cuts you off, give him the pinky and not the middle finger. That is your way of telling him you know he has a small peepee! That is what I do.
Steve Carell was on Conan tonight and the TBS late night host asked him if it is true that The 40 Year Old Virgin almost didn’t happen. Carell told him that is true and explained what happened. After the first week of filming, Judd Apatow got a call from the big wigs at Universal and they said they wanted to talk to them because they were shutting them down production. At the meeting the execs said, “We’ve been watching footage…You look like a serial killer.”
They were judging this even though they had not shot any dialogue during their first four days of filming. At that point all they filmed was him riding his bike with a helmet and him walking looking at posters on the street. Which seems weird that they came to that assumption.
Luckily for us, they didn’t listen and went right filming that Monday. Can you imagine if that film never got released? All the other films of Carell and Apatow’s that might not have happened. This movie really launched both of their big screen careers.
Ricky Gervais was on Conan tonight and he gave new meaning to the expression, “You don’t know your ass from your elbow!” How? He took a Selfie of his elbow and it looked like an a$$. If that is not enough for you, he started adding random things between the bend of his upper arm and forearm which made it look even more realistic and disgusting.
The host of the Golden Globes said he learned this trick from a Classical musician and they spent three hours taking many many many photos of his assbow.
So now that he has taught you this fun little game, why are you still reading this. Shouldn’t you be taking photos of your assbow? If you have Reese’s Peanut Butter Chocolate Spread, make sure to smear it around there because it creates the perfect photo to post on Facebook to shock your friends and family. You could be caption it as, “Just had Chipolte.” Too soon?
One of Conan O’Brien’s employees is getting ready to get her driver’s license, so the TBS late night host thought he would prepare Diana Chang for her road test. He didn’t teach her the basics, instead he taught her defensive driving like how to curse out someone who cut you off. Since she wasn’t comprehending how to do it, he brought in two people to Ride Along with them. That’s right, he gave a lyft to Kevin Hart and Ice Cube. If anyone could school her on road rage, it is them. Granted first sound of a siren and they are out of there.
After telling off a few drivers, they asked where they could score some marijuana. Once they knew where to go, Diana put the pedal to the metal. As soon as they got to the dispensary, they stocked up. What do you if you have a lot of pot? You smoke it. With Conan behind the wheel, that is exactly what Diana and Cube did in the backseat as Hart laughed uncontrollably with his contact high in the front seat. Now would his contact high save their a$$es when they got pulled over by the POPO? You just have to watch this highlarious remote to find out.
Did Diana get her license? I don’t know if she would want to drive after that traumatizing experience. I know I wouldn’t.
Dick Van Dyke was on Conan last week and he brought his A Capella group with him. Together the 4 of them plus the TBS late nigh host sang Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and I can’t wipe the smile off of my face after watching that.
If you need to put a smile on your face, this will definitely do it. This is just pure joy!
The cast of Star Wars was on Conan yesterday and Jordan Schlansky got to meet his idol Harrison Ford. The Associate Producer brought out a Millennium Falcon made of Lego for Hans Solo to sign. But then something horribly, I mean hilariously, went wrong.
Why Ford became an action star over comedic one will always be perplexing to me. I find his humor spot on!
Ewoks are one of the most adored things about Star Wars, but not everyone loves these cuddly creatures. When Conan O’Brien’s studio was infested with them, he called in an exterminator to kill them all. Once they started spraying, the little guys started hitting the floor like crazy. So much so, it broke my heart. I would’ve taken in a few of them, he didn’t have to murder them like that. Who else, besides the TBS host, doesn’t love the mammaloid bipeds?
I don’t think I will ever be able to watch Conan again. Well, at least not until tomorrow night at 11p when he has on the whole cast from Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Hopefully, Chewbacca will confront him on this mass killing.
Late night TV has its own take on Chanukah and yesterday Conan and Jimmy Kimmel Live brought back their Festival of Lights favorites.
After a year off, the Human Centipede Menorah was back and Sarah Silverman lit the fifth candle. Before she lit the candle, she got the menorah all lit up by the feeding the head some greasy Latkes and poopy inducing coffee. That made everyone behind him growl like their stomachs. Because nothing says Chanukah like a bunch of people attached a$$ to head.
Well maybe the Chanucorn, a Gospel Choir and the Dreidel Dog sing it even louder than that. Gary Greenberg brought back Chanukah’s favorite character with a twist, or maybe that was just the Dreidel Dog spinning his way into our hearts.
Either way Chanukah is lot more special this year thanks to late night keeping the holiday alive with characters that future generations can enjoy. When was the last time the Jewish holiday got a much needed up upgrade? Not since the oil stayed lit for 8 whole days and nights. So these two additions are very much appreciated.
It’s a Chanukah miracle!