Orlando Bloom is on Conan tonight and he told the TBS late night host that Evangeline Lilly, Lee Pace and him would love to do one more sequel for The Hobbit. This time it would be about “The elves annihilating Middle Earth…Tantric Sex style, down and dirty.” To make it even more downer and dirtier, it will be shot only using iPhones and GoPros. How hot would that be? I’d like to see then search for that ring.
Once Conan O’Brien heard the idea, he wanted a small part in it. Legolas said that the red head would make a great Elf. To which O’Brien shared the fact that ever since he was a little kid, he has been compared to the Elf, Herbie the Dentist, from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. To see if it is true, then click here!
Tonight at 10p, Conan O’Brien gets his first primetime special on TBS. It is not about his best jokes and interviews, instead it is his greatest remote bits.
The special starts off with the late night host going for a Lyft ride with Kevin Hart and Ice Cube. From a rapper to a bluesman, Conan gets schooled when he teaches kids in a Chicago classroom about the blues. When he doesn’t quite cut it as a music teacher, he decides to be a Chinese food delivery man in lower Manhattan. Let’s just say the people he was delivering food to weren’t hungry a half hour after he got there, they were starving as soon as he finally showed up. Talking about food, next up it was time for him to dine out. Not at your average restaurant, but the one in the American Girl doll shop. His date was a real doll! She was just a teaser to the strippers he was going to have straddle him as he played Grand Theft Auto 5 as the Clueless Gamer he truly his. Finally, all these bits tell us he needs to learn out to act. So the final remote is him getting acting lessons. They don’t work, but at least he tried.
Get the tissues and a change of underwear ready to watch Conan to Go: The Best of Conan Remotes because you will be laughing so hard it will make you cry and pee in your pants.
The only negative thing I can say about this hilarious special is that Jordan Schlansky was no where to be seen during it.
Dick Van Dyke was on Conan yesterday and Conan O’Brien told the legend that they way he danced in movies like Mary Poppins and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang was an inspiration to him. So Rob Petrie asked if he would like to dance with him and of course the TBS late night host said yes. Then the two of did a soft show routine that will make even the biggest Scrooge in your life smile.
Can you believe that DVD is 89 years old because he still moves like the man we grew up watching in all those Disney musicals. I guess it helps when you wife is more than half your age!!!
The other night on Conan, they killed off Andy Richter. Cause of death was not immediately known, but I say it was related to the time he sneezed during the Ebola crisis.
The 58 year old comedian will be best remembered as a sidekick on the TBS late night show and The Late Show. But we cannot forget his brilliant performances on Quintuplets, Andy Richter Controls the Universe and Andy Barker, PI. Although most people probably know him as his brothers and himself on Arrested Development.
So today honor him by watching one of his many hysterical shows.
Don’t worry about his death leaving a hole on Conan, the show replaced him with Fred Willard before the first commercial break. I like him better already!
Rebecca Romijn was on Conan yesterday and Conan O’Brien asked her about the reality show she hosts on the Game Show Network called Skin Wars. Basically, the premise of that competition show is that the contestants use other peoples’ bodies as their canvas. Something the Guardian on The Librarians knows all too well, since she played Mistique in the X-Men movies and was the first model to wear a painted on bathing suit for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition.
She then explained that even though you are naked, you don’t feel that way when the paint is on you. So the TBS late night host pondered, what it would be like to do his show in painted on suit and tie. So she asked him if he would do it and he said he only would only do it if she did it too. Then when she agreed to do it, he suddenly realized what he got himself into and it was too late to get out of it.
It is too early to know when they will do it and if Andy Richter will join in (I hope so!), but I know I can’t wait for this episode. Thankfully, Skin Wars was picked up for a second season, so there is no way he can get out of it. Or can he? We will just have to keep tuning in to find out.
Let’s be honest, we kind of think that Evangeline Lilly is a little eccentric and the other night on Conan she gave us another reason to ponder that thought.
Conan O’Brien asked her about the ears she wears in the Hobbit movie and then asked her about being “ear obsessed”. She then went on to explain that she does have a thing for ears. Sharing with the TBS late night host that she walks around the set and checks out peoples ears to see who has the best ones. As she was sharing this info, she started to play with Conan’s ear. But that wasn’t enough for her, so she also started to touch Andy Richter’s too. When she did, she screamed out “Oh my Gd!”, almost as if she was having an orgasm. She exclaimed, “They’re just so juicy and big. I have found the lobe of my life.” Conan’s face showed how humiliated he felt that his ears were smaller and less juicy than his sidekick’s are.
Trying to recover from the humiliation, he has to know what it is about the ear that turns her on so much. When she was a little girl, she would find comfort by sucking on her thumb and pulling down her bottom eyelid with the same hand as her other one reached over and played with her ear. She demonstrated what she did back then and it was uglier than Lost’s finale.
I seriously don’t know what to say about this interview because what can you say about it? It’s just too weird for words.
BTW to see a photo of her comfort face, then click here!
Last time JB Smoove was on Conan, he got Conan O’Brien to be his sexercise partner. Tonight, he got the TBS host to admit that he wanted the comedian as they prepared to the do most sensual Tango we’ve ever seen. So feel their passion as they demonstrate their connection on the dance floor.
Their Tango made me so happy that I gave up Dancing with the Stars because no one can top what they did.
On that note, who would be on top Smoove or O’Brien?
Jennifer Aniston is on Conan tonight and Conan O’Brien asked her about a necklace she wore in Horrible Bosses 2. She shared with him that the charm is actually a c0ck ring. He then said it looked rather big for one and asked Andy Richter to concur with him. It was then that the TBS late night host was schooled on c0ck rings.
Now back to the horrible boss, she went on to explain why she picked out that necklace to wear. She concluded her tale with, “I know, we’re just saying all sorts of sh!t on this show.”
What I find interesting about this interview, is that the TBS censors censored c0ck, but not sh!t. One is a bird and the other is something you do after eating too much c0ck.
Oh and Conan, remember you are talking to Jennifer Aniston about the size of a c0ck ring. Yet you were the only host to ask Justin Theroux about the bulge in his sweatpants. That c0ck ring is too small for him, so that is why she didn’t think it was as big as you did.
The CDC announced that there are more benefits to being circumcised than keeping the foreskin. Since Conan O’Brien is all about public service, he had one of his uncircumcised audience members get that corrected live on the show. That’s right they performed a Bris on the air, although they used doctors instead of a Moal. How do you think it went? Well, let’s just say the anesthesiologist didn’t show up. I am a woman and even I felt his pain.
If you want to see the explanation about why that guy is all wet, then click here!
Mindy Kaling is on Conan tonight and Conan O’Brien asked her about the risque topics she tackles on The Mindy Project. She talked about an episode they did this season called “I slipped.” The concept of the show is that during sex her lover slips in the throws of passion. If you don’t know what she was referring to, she explained it was about anal sex. From that moment on, they continued to say those two words together on the show more times than I can count. Maybe you can do it for me and let me know how many times they did it. No lube required, unless you are into that sort of thing.
So in case you were wondering what is the biggest difference between Fox and TBS, it is anal sex! That’s why I watch more sitcoms on the cable channel than the broadcast one.