Did you know there are people who are P0rn Historians? I didn’t either until Conan O’Brien had Brian Watson on his show yesterday. If you are going to talk about the history of p0rn, then you are going to have show and tell the first one. Right?
That is what he did when he talked about the 1908 French film At the Golden Inn. A maid uses a vacuum and learns she can use it to clean the rug below her feet and the one between her legs. Definitely a lot different than what we are used to seeing today.
Did you know the Victorian era ushered in fetish p0rnography? That a man loves rubber duckies so much, he had a p0rn0 made for him with them. And finally not only did Caveman invent the first profession, they also drew vajayjays on their caves. So prostitution and p0rnography have been around since we have been. And yet we have a huge problem with sex! Seems like it would be innate by now?
If you want to see A L’Ecu d’Or ou la Bonne Auberge, then you can do so on here. I take back what I said, it looks a lot like what we have today. Nice to see it hasn’t changed in 108 years.
A few weeks ago, PornHub.com introduced Described Video on their site. Basically, they narrate p0rn for the visually impaired so they can experience it too.
Well, Jimmy Kimmel Live liked the idea so much that they asked people on Hollywood Boulevard to narrate a pornographic scene. How did it go? It won’t get anyone who listens to it scream in excitement, but it will make them laugh out loud. You will be yelling out, yes, yes, yes and oh Gd, but not in the way they intended.
BTW does anyone know how to get a job narrating p0rn! I seriously want to do that.
You know that sweet and innocent caped crusader who flew from CBS over to The CW? Well she isn’t as sweet and innocent in Axel Braun’s pornody Supergirl XXX.
Now we will finally find out which sex is better to have sex with if they are superhero. I would think the man, because Superman is faster than a speeding bullet and there is no way any huMan can satisfy Supergirl. If you think satisfying a huWOman is tough, imagine trying to do that to a female who has unlimited stamina. You will get lockjaw and still she won’t be satisfied even after hours of Viagra.
That’s my opinion is, what’s yours? Don’t have one, then you can buy Supergirl XXX when it comes out and see for yourself as she takes on Brainiac. Personally, I would’ve thought the villain would be called Aphrodisiac.
The Teenage Mutant Turtles are becoming men thanks to Woodrocket.com. Their acne will clear up faster than you can say Cowabunga in Ten Inch Mutant Ninja Turtles because lots of sex is the best cure for that. That’s right, our favorite pizza eaters are getting their own pornody. Let’s be honest 10″ never disappoints. And what’s even better, instead of paying $15 to see Michael Bay’s piece of crap, this movie is free! I know what you are doing tonight, watching this just like me!
They have Reality Shows looking for the next singer, model, home chef and now they are going to have one that will search for all three. Well not really but close, because in order to win The Sex Factor, you need to make that orgasm sing, look gorgeous in bed and make sure to heat things up in the bedroom. That’s right, they are looking to take the average person and turn them in to a P0rn star.
The 10 episode webseries debuts tonight 12m PST on XHamster.com and the 16 contestants (8 men and 8 women) compete for the $1 million prize. Plus, they will have more fun on this show than any other contestant on any of the other competition shows. The 16 contestants are all amateurs and they are going to learn how to work in the Adult Entertainment Industry with the help of 5 of the biggest names in it. Host Asa Akira and Tori Black, Remy LaCroix, Lexi Belle and Keiran Lee will serve as mentors, coaches and judges to the not so sweet 16. When they are done, there will only be one man and one women left standing. Or should I say laying down?
What can you expect to see on The Sex Factor? You can expect to witness “fast-paced action, behind-the-scenes exploits, and the sheer spectacle of porn stars teaching civilians the tricks of the trade.” Not enough to get you to tune it, how about the fact that the, “episodes are filled with hardcore sex, technical coaching, drama and all of the bloopers you’d expect.” Bloopers or boobers?
Seriously though, how excited are you for this hottest Reality Competition show out there? I know it got my blood pumping in areas no other Reality Show has. So call your lover, make a date because you are not going to want to watch this alone. Plus, you can try some of the things you learned from it, when the episode ends. No other program teaches you those important and helpful lessons or is as much fun. So tune in, you know you want to!
Now that we are just two days away from the premiere of Fuller House on Netflix, I am not sure how excited I am about it. I think if I watch PornHub.com’s pornody Full Holes, it will get me in the mood. Although, I am not if that is the mood that some members of the cast would like me to be in when I watch the revival episodes. But then again others will probably be watching it too.
So if you need to release your excitement and don’t want to climax too early, then make sure to watch Full Holes before you watch Fuller House. It’ll help you last longer during your binge.
BTW I doubt that we will hear Joey say, “Cut it out,” in Full Holes and that’ll be a first.
Matthew Perry was on The Graham Norton Show on Friday and the host asked him about the Friends pornodies. The actor told him that there is one he is familiar with and it is called Fiends. In that one, he says that all of them are having sex except for Chandler who is in the corner playing with his Bing. I’d like to watch that one, but I can’t find it online. The one I can find, is the one that was mentioned on the show called Friends: A XXX Parody. Which is why I want to watch the first one!
Hey, if we are not going to get a reunion with the 6 of them, then this the next best thing. Right?
If ever a show screamed out for someone to make a pornody of it, it is The Golden Girls. And now our favorite old ladies are getting one from Hustler. Yes! Yes! Yes!
Next week you can watch Dorothy, Rose, Sofia and Blanche do the things they only talked about on the legendary sitcom. We’ll, get to see if Blanche is as good in bed as she claims. Also if any of the men will survive their trysts with Sofia and Rose. Finally, there is Dorothy and I bet you she is the wildest one of them all. Can’t you see her being kinky in bed?
I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to get a cheesecake and watch This Ain’t the Golden Girls on September 8th!
Shortly after CBS released the first photos of Melissa Benoist as Supergirl, Axel Braun released the first image of his Supergirl in Batman v Superman XXX: An Axel Braun Parody. Which one do you do you want to watch more?
Personally, I like Braun’s version better because his costume has lighter colors. I don’t like the darker ones, but that is me. That and the XXX one is so much more sexier, it will definitely makes boys flies fly!
Many celebrities have been asked to sign people’s body parts including women’s breasts, but how many of them can say that they have been asked to autograph a woman’s vajayjay. Well if you are Ron Jeremy, then you’ll be asked to do that and you will happily oblige. BTW I wonder what the P0rn legend used as a pen when he left his mark on Audrina Love‘s underwear???
Hey he has a hard job, but somebody has to do it. Ba da bump!