Bruce Willis made his last appearance on The Late Show with David Letterman yesterday and he has a message for the retiring late night host. He said, “Dave! Send Money! Urgent!!!”
Since I don’t remember the last time he had movie kick butt at the Box Office, you have to wonder if he is going through some tough times. Probably not because the residuals from the Die Hard movies alone should keep him afloat for the rest of his life.
Not only did John McClane ask Letterman for money, the CBS show aired a best of montage dedicated to the actor whose been on the show many many many times over the last few decades. So sit back and watch David Addison make some the grandest entrances you’ve ever seen. It’s the whole nine yards and then some!
Amy Schumer was on The Late Show yesterday and she shared with him how she embarrasses herself in front of celebrities. Not missing an opportunity, he tells her to do something she will regret. She stands up, lifts up dress, shows off a scar on her upper leg and calls it her vagina. The retiring CBS late night host, put his head down in shame and said, “I asked for it, didn’t I?” He did.
BTW doesn’t she remind you of the 4th Brady sister? You know, if they Carol and Mike had a raunchy child to contradict all of their sugary sweet ones?
On May 20th, David Letterman is going to say goodbye to hosting late night television after nearly a third of a century and Billy Crystal wrote a song for his longtime friend.
The Comedian sang the tribute tune to the beat of Sunrise, Sunset from Fiddler on the Roof and it is marvelous. How can you not have a tear in your eye when you look back at The Late Show host’s career and what a career it has been.
Sarah Jessica Parker was on The Late Show tonight and she revealed to David Letterman that she had a dream about him before she was with Matthew Broderick. Not just any dream, but one where the CBS late night host told her that he loved her. So what happened? They were at a basketball game and during halftime he said, “I love you,” as he dipped her. So in other words, they were sexless in the city.
Now if we are going to analyze why she had that dream? I’ll say she probably fell asleep after watching the 11p news (including the sports segment) and his talk show, and somewhere in between those broadcasts there was a jewelry commercial where the guy told his lover he loved her while they were dancing. I know way to spoil it, but that’s just how I bounce.
David Duchovny was on The Late Show tonight and David Letterman asked him about The X-Files coming back to TV. Mulder confirmed that not only are Gillian Anderson and him are returning, so are Skinner (Mitch Pileggi) and The Smoking Man (William B. Davis).
There will also be a new character on the show, and he won’t be seen. When the CBS late host asked him if he thought this was going to happen, Duchovny told him “You know, when they developed Spanx, I knew I had a shot of coming back.” For those of us who followed him to Californication, we know he doesn’t need the tight underwear.
Then he got serious and said that he is grateful that people still want to see the character he made famous over 20 years ago. We are grateful, they still want to play those roles after all of these years.
Neil Patrick Harris is a guest on CBS’s The Late Show tonight at 11:35p and his interview is shocking. To see why the more recent Oscar host was so shocked by it, you just have to watch to find out.
When you are done, don’t hold it against me! It is a slow Monday and this worked!
It is really really really cold in NYC, so the only way to stay warm outside is to dress in a lot of layers. That is exactly what Sean Hayes did to make his way over to appear on The Late Show with David Letterman tonight. He wore gloves, a hat, a ski mask, a down winter coat, a scarf, a down vest, a zippered jacket, a sweater, a headband and boots all on top of his suit. You can’t do a talk show dressed like that, so he took it all off in front of the audience before he sat down to talk to the CBS host.
While it only took him :30 seconds to strip down, I wonder how long it took for him to put on those 10 items?
Seeing how dressed up all of those people were just to take a walk outside, reminded me how much I don’t miss winter.
Will Smith knows how to make an entrance and yesterday he got The Late Show crowd going when he walked out. Before he even sat down, he grabbed the mic and sang his hit Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It. The audience did their best to jam along with him, but they were way too white. Either way, it got them clapping.
When he finally sat down, he told the CBS late night host that rap was for him. To which Letterman told him that he can’t do that. Smith responded by telling him, “No, no, you can…You can, Dave. It’s in you. There’s a Negro inside of you. Dave.” As soon as Letterman heard that, he had this big a$$ smile on his face and said, “Wow! Wow! That’s the best news I have had in years. I gotta run home and surprise the wife!” After that, Smith completely lost it like I’ve never seen him lose it.
When it comes to the white audience, maybe they can use the app that Jimmy Kimmel and Anthony Anderson introduced on Jimmy Kimmel Live yesterday called brothr.
Dakota Johnson is on The Late Show tonight to talk about some movie she is in, and her mother had a message for David Letterman. Melanie Griffith wanted to let the late night CBS host know that she loves him. He told the actress that he also really loves her mom. Anastasia Grey reminded him that her mother brought him handcuffs one time, and he tried to avoid the statement. Then she asked him, “So , are you my dad?” He got all flustered and nervous as he agreed with her when she said was kidding.
She then tried to let him off the hook and said that she knows who her father is. We all know her dad is because she looks just like Don Johnson. Doesn’t she have the Miami Vice detective’s face and the Working Girl’s voice?
Now back to Letterman, you know for second, it kind of looked he was probably doing the math. Which makes sense because Griffith got pregnant with Dakota around the time she was promoting Working Girl. So wait, maybe one day he will do a Darth Vader and be like “No, I am your father.” Where’s Maury Povich when you really need him???
New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick is on The Late Show tonight and David Letterman asked him about Deflate gate. He wanted to know why weren’t the Super Bowl champs’ footballs fully inflated during the final playoffs game. Belichick explained, “Well, we all know that as the footballs get colder, they deflate. Scientifically.”
Now he is referring to pigskins, but I just pictured him talking about another type of ball that gets smaller in cold weather. You know the two I am talking about. Did I score a touchdown with that joke???