Russell Brand Tweeted these pictures of what he wore at Eurovision and who knew he looked so pretty in a gown? If he only had hair on the top of his head and not on the rest of his body, I think he could easily pass for a beautiful woman. Don’t you agree?
Russell Brand was on The Howard Stern Show today and he told the Shock Jock his winning pick-up line! Brand will say to a girl, “Look, we are alive here for a short time. I think you are beautiful. I think there’s divinity within you and there is divinity within in me…” He had me at look. Actually he kind of had me at divinity, because the way he talks is so enchanting. Even if I don’t what the hell he just said.
Russell Brand was a guest on The Late Show tonight and he told David Letterman that he was a mailman before he was an actor. He told David Letterman why he did it. Brand explained, “In my mind, it is a cultural illusion that this is an opportunity for early morning conjugal activity. I thought that housewives would open the door, with a gesture to their nether regions.” Then he added, “Turns out that is not a window for sex. They just want their letters basically.” So how long did he hold out before he quit his sexless job? He held the job for 3 whole weeks.
I guess he thought that mailman was spelled maleman, and because of that I wonder if he thought that woman would think he is twice the man. I mean why would think that woman want their mailman? It has never been a fantasy of mine and I never heard anyone else wanted to lick their postal worker like a stamp. Have you?
Dear Mailmen, I am sorry if I offended you with the last paragraph. That was not what I was going for with this post. Please continue to deliver my bills and junk mail. Thanks!
Russell Brand was caught by the paps as he left yoga yesterday and I can’t stop looking at his right leg. Is that a yoga mat in his pocket, or is his peepee happy to see us? Who knew he might have a rock of ages in his pants?
Russell Brand was on Chelsea Lately yesterday. Chelsea Handler was not doing her show, but instead Khloe, Kourtney and Kim Kardashian were filling in for her. Well the three sisters were talking to Brand and he admitted he was “vulnerable to the concept of a KKK threesome.” I am not sure what is worse the concept of doing it with all The Kardashian girls at once or three members from the KKK. Both are just too horrible to think about, but at least the latter group would wear sheets over their heads so you wouldn’t have to look at them.