Last year, it was all about Frozen, this year is all about Star Wars. Every time a kid dressed as someone from Star Wars knocks on your door, drink. Halloween will be extra happy for you today since you will be drunk by 7p. Plus, we move the clocks forward, so that means you get an extra hour to sleep. Party on!
Happy Father’s Day to all the men who catch us before we hit the ground. Who makes us laugh when we are crying. For giving us the biggest hug when we need one. And most importantly for always being there.
I love my dad more than everything, even though he won’t get the DNA test to prove he really is my father.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the supercalifragilisticexpialidocious moms out there. Today give her what she really wants hugs, kisses and to be left alone. That is after you give her a really nice expensive gift like a Spa Day or diamonds.
What better way to celebrate 4/20 than with the debut of Willie Nelson and Merle Haggard’s new duet about marijuana called It’s All Going to Pot! It should be today’s anthem.
Their album Django and Jimmie will be out on June 2nd, but you can pre-order it now. If you order it today, then you will probably forget you did because you are celebrating correctly. So that means in June, you will get a nice surprise and wonder who your secret admirer is. Don’t tell yourself, but it is you!
To all those who celebrate Passover, have a happy Passover. May you be the one to find the Matzo during the Seder and get a nice cash reward!
To those of you who don’t, watch Passover Funk from Aish to learn about it!
John Oliver has taken a lot of stands on his HBO show Last Week Tonight and this week he took a stance against April Fool’s Day.
As someone who is born on April Fool’s Day, I agree with him. I am sick of presents with nothing in them, empty cake boxes and that explains so much from people when they learn today is my birthday. April the first is a day like any other and we need to stop acting like it is OK to act like a fool to your friends, co-workers and loved ones on this day of the year.
Enough is enough!
Who am I kidding? Because I was born on April Fool’s Day, I am a great prankster. So let’s make people’s lives hell today as it is always intended to be this the first day of April.
Oh and what did you buy me???