Earlier this week, the new trailer for Jason Bourne came out. Yesterday, Jimmy Kimmel reworked to make it more to his liking. The action movie is now about comedy about called Bourne Loser. I don’t know about you, but I prefer the Jimmy Kimmel Live version!
Jason Bourne is back and he ain’t messing around this time. This is the ultimate summer action movie because it is has car chases, fights and a pretty blond. Granted the last one is for the girls because who doesn’t love seeing Matt Damon at his best?
So mark your calendars for July 29th because you don’t want to miss this D!ck Flick.
Yesterday after the Oscars, Jimmy Kimmel Live had their annual special and it didn’t disappoint. They got Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick to reprise their roles from The Producers and we find out that they are responsible for Donald Trump running for President. Max Bialystock and Leo Bloom came up with a plan to get someone awful to run for President, so that they can get the money they raise from his campaign to keep as their own. Only problem, no matter how many awful things they tell him to do, he keeps getting more popular. So now we know who is at fault for Donald Trump. Blame The Producers for Springtime for Donald and America (think the song from the movie/show/movie). When it is going to be Fall?
The show wasn’t only about this bit, poor Matt Damon was picked on in not one but three bits. One is not worth posting, but the other two are. Although, I have to admit, not only do I want Jimmy Kimmel to shave that messy ugly beard, I also want him to stop picking on Damon already. He is coming off as really mean and it is old, like really old. Time to move on and just make peace already. Find a new arch nemesis. Who is with me?
Matt Damon was on The Late Late Show yesterday and James Corden recreated several scenes from most of Jason Bourne’s movies with him. I didn’t realize until now, not only how many bad movies he has done, but how many of them I have not and will not see. In fact, it seems like he is trying to forget them too because he barely did any lines from them. I guess he doesn’t have catchphrases like the other actors who did this segment with the CBS late night host. What’s up with that?
As we all know Jimmy Kimmel and Matt Damon hate each other and can’t wait to make fun of the other one. Earlier this week, the trailer came out for Damon’s latest movie The Martian and the ABC late night host had some fun with it. Not as much as Jason Borne does in it, but a lot. Why do I say that? Just watch Jimmy Kimmel Live‘s version of it called The Mastronaut: Emission to Mars. Need I say more?
Oh and I should warn you, if you watch it, you will not be able to get Violent Femmes’ Blister in the Sun out of your head.
We have seen celebrities use things other than water when taking the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. Well Matt Damon did use water for his challenge, but he used it from a source that no one else has ever attempted before him. What is that source? He took the aqua from his toilet.
Why? I mean, ewwwww. Here in LA, we are going through a major drought and he didn’t want to waste any water. In addition, he wanted to prove the point that the toilet water here in “the West is actually cleaner than the water that most people in the developing world have access to.”
So besides bringing awareness to the ALS Association (which he donated money to), he also wanted to make people aware of his charity, Water.org. His mission worked on me. Although it is going to take me, a while to get over being so grossed out. It’s toilet water. But if I am this horrified by it and it’s cleaner than some of the water people in parts of Africa are drinking, then we really need to make a difference as soon as we can. No one should drink water that is worse than the stuff that fills up toilet bowls before we fill them up with our own water.
Just one more time, but it is toilet water. So ewwwwwww.
The feud between Matt Damon and Jimmy Kimmel continues even though the actor was on the ABC late night show last week. Jason Bourne faxed (I guess people still use them) his arch nemesis a picture of his butt to publicize a raffle he is having on Omaze to spend a day with Ben Affleck him to benefit his charity Eastern Congo Initiative and Water.org.
So while you think he is making an a$$ of himself with the fax, it turns out to be the complete opposite.
The cast of The Monuments Men including George Clooney, Bill Murray, Cate Blanchett, John Goodman, Bob Balaban and some guy named Matt Damon all appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live yesterday. That’s right Jason Bourne, was on the ABC late night talk show yesterday. So did Affleck’s former lover actually make time for Ben’s BFF? You just have to watch what happens when Kimmel finally asks him a question on the show that has been over 10 years in the making.
BTW as much as I love the rivalry between these two men, I think the joke has gone on long enough. I would love to see Kimmel actually do a sit down with Damon, the man whose wedding officiated. JK can still end every show with “My apologies to Matt Damon, we ran out of time,” but the stuff that he did on last night’s show is getting a little old. Or do you still like it?
Remember last year when Matt Damon kidnapped and tied up Jimmy Kimmel, so that the Talented Mr Ripley could host the Jimmy Kimmel Live? Well, looks like he has done it again, and this time he did it to Good Morning America’s George Stephanopoulos.
So I guess Jason Bourne should come with a warning if he is booked to appear on a television talk show, be prepared for him to kidnap and tie up the host of the show so that he can do it himself.
Who knew there was such an evil man behind that baby sweet face?
Yesterday on The Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert went to get a soda from the machine during the show and it feel down on him, crushing him in his nice suit. He screamed for help and Matt Damon rushed in to rescue him. While trying to lift the heavy object off of the conservative anchor, Colbert started asking the Oscar winner some questions about his career and his new movie Elysium that is out now, as blood poured out of him. Did Matt Damon do a Jason Bourne or is Comedy Central looking for his replacement? You will have to watch that video find out.