As we all know Jimmy Kimmel and Matt Damon hate each other and can’t wait to make fun of the other one. Earlier this week, the trailer came out for Damon’s latest movie The Martian and the ABC late night host had some fun with it. Not as much as Jason Borne does in it, but a lot. Why do I say that? Just watch Jimmy Kimmel Live‘s version of it called The Mastronaut: Emission to Mars. Need I say more?
Oh and I should warn you, if you watch it, you will not be able to get Violent Femmes’ Blister in the Sun out of your head.
We have seen celebrities use things other than water when taking the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. Well Matt Damon did use water for his challenge, but he used it from a source that no one else has ever attempted before him. What is that source? He took the aqua from his toilet.
Why? I mean, ewwwww. Here in LA, we are going through a major drought and he didn’t want to waste any water. In addition, he wanted to prove the point that the toilet water here in “the West is actually cleaner than the water that most people in the developing world have access to.”
So besides bringing awareness to the ALS Association (which he donated money to), he also wanted to make people aware of his charity, Water.org. His mission worked on me. Although it is going to take me, a while to get over being so grossed out. It’s toilet water. But if I am this horrified by it and it’s cleaner than some of the water people in parts of Africa are drinking, then we really need to make a difference as soon as we can. No one should drink water that is worse than the stuff that fills up toilet bowls before we fill them up with our own water.
Just one more time, but it is toilet water. So ewwwwwww.
The feud between Matt Damon and Jimmy Kimmel continues even though the actor was on the ABC late night show last week. Jason Bourne faxed (I guess people still use them) his arch nemesis a picture of his butt to publicize a raffle he is having on Omaze to spend a day with Ben Affleck him to benefit his charity Eastern Congo Initiative and Water.org.
So while you think he is making an a$$ of himself with the fax, it turns out to be the complete opposite.
The cast of The Monuments Men including George Clooney, Bill Murray, Cate Blanchett, John Goodman, Bob Balaban and some guy named Matt Damon all appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live yesterday. That’s right Jason Bourne, was on the ABC late night talk show yesterday. So did Affleck’s former lover actually make time for Ben’s BFF? You just have to watch what happens when Kimmel finally asks him a question on the show that has been over 10 years in the making.
BTW as much as I love the rivalry between these two men, I think the joke has gone on long enough. I would love to see Kimmel actually do a sit down with Damon, the man whose wedding officiated. JK can still end every show with “My apologies to Matt Damon, we ran out of time,” but the stuff that he did on last night’s show is getting a little old. Or do you still like it?
Remember last year when Matt Damon kidnapped and tied up Jimmy Kimmel, so that the Talented Mr Ripley could host the Jimmy Kimmel Live? Well, looks like he has done it again, and this time he did it to Good Morning America’s George Stephanopoulos.
So I guess Jason Bourne should come with a warning if he is booked to appear on a television talk show, be prepared for him to kidnap and tie up the host of the show so that he can do it himself.
Who knew there was such an evil man behind that baby sweet face?
Yesterday on The Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert went to get a soda from the machine during the show and it feel down on him, crushing him in his nice suit. He screamed for help and Matt Damon rushed in to rescue him. While trying to lift the heavy object off of the conservative anchor, Colbert started asking the Oscar winner some questions about his career and his new movie Elysium that is out now, as blood poured out of him. Did Matt Damon do a Jason Bourne or is Comedy Central looking for his replacement? You will have to watch that video find out.
It seems like Matt Damon is all over the place these days and on Sunday at 10p he is going to be on Showtime’s House of Lies. The Oscar winner goes to the consultants to find a charity that is bigger than George Clooney’s thus making Jason Bourne look better than the Fantastic Mr Fox. Once he is in the meeting he then goes off on his Ocean’s co-star to Marty Kaan (Don Cheadle), who gets what he is going for. Which makes me wonder if these 2 Ocean’s stars are trying to tell us something about the man who was was their leader in the movies?
Catherine Zeta Jones is on Ellen today and she talked about her husband, Michael Douglas, kissing Matt Damon in Behind the Candelabra. The actress said, “I know if my husband’s going to kiss anyone let it be Matt Damon.” It was then that Ellen DeGeneres admitted she had the privilege of kissing him and then she told her audience “I highly recommend anyone if you get a chance kiss Matt Damon.” I wonder how her good friend Jimmy Kimmel is going to handle what she said? You know I just wish those two guys would kiss and make up in front of the cameras already! How hot would that be after last week’s brilliant Jimmy Kimmel Sucks episode!
Now back to kissing Matt Damon, after getting such high praise from Ellen I so want to kiss him! Why does he have to be happily married?
After 1,205 times of Jimmy Kimmel bumping Matt Damon from Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Matt Damon finally got his revenge on the ABC late night host. Almost a decade of “apologies to Matt Damon, we ran out of time”, Damon showed Kimmel what that feels like and it doesn’t feel good.
The Oscar winner tied him up and took over the show that airs at 11:35p for the full hour. He started off doing the monologue and bashed the tied up man as much as possible. Then he replaced Guillermo with Oscar nominee and his Ocean’s co-star Andy Garcia and JKL’s bandleader and BFF Cleto with Sheryl Crow. But it didn’t stop there when it was time for the jokes in the monologue, he brought out the man who won an Oscar with a little movie he wrote called Good Will Hunting. That’s right Robin William had us in stitches, a feeling Kimmel could related to at that moment.
Then when the monologue was over, it was time for the guests. First up was Oscar winner Nicole Kidman, who had never been on the show before last night. She mentioned Oscar winner Gary Oldman and then he was there. He said Oscar nominee Amy Adams’ name and she appeared.
Then after a commercial break Matt Damon joked how easy it is to book a celeb in this town. So he had Andy Garcia throw a rock and bam a celebrity would magically appear. The first to be hit was Oscar winner Reese Witherspoon and the next throw got them Demi Moore. So when the couch was full with 3 Oscar winners, an Oscar nominee and Demi Moore and there was no room left for anybody else on it, it was time to move on to the next segment. Matt Damon brought out his f*cking buddy and Kimmel’s ex-girlfriend to chat with her.
The show wasn’t over yet, Sheryl Crow performed her new single and it wasn’t about a doping ex. Once the fat (OK she’s not fat) lady was done singing, it was time to end the show. Matt Damon promised he would un-gag Kimmel and let him have a few words on Jimmy Kimmel Sucks!, but sadly for him they ran out of time!
I know this is going to make me sound like a Benedict Arnold, but after watching the show for almost 6 years I have to say I think that was the best episode I have ever seen of Jimmy Kimmel Live! yet. Sorry Jimmy don’t hate me, but it was a f*cking brilliant episode. So sit back and enjoy it as much as I did.
Oh and since Matt Damon was not technically a guest on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, he can still apologize to Matt Damon for running out of time, right? Something Jimmy Kimmel told me a few weeks he was going to do anyways.
UPDATE: Jimmy Kimmel Sucks! was the #1 show last night in its timeslot in households and the key demo. Garnering its best ratings yet in that timeslot and the show has been airing at 11:35p for less than 3 weeks. I think JKL! is starting a well deserved trend for itself!!!
After almost 10 years of Jimmy Kimmel ending every show with him not having time for Matt Damon, JKL! has finally made some time for Matt Damon tonight at 11:35p on ABC. But it looks like Matt Damon doesn’t want to share the screen time with Kimmel as witnessed in the above video has hit the internets this morning and it looks like Jason Bourne has does something worse to him that f*cking his ex-girlfriend. That’s right Matt Damon has kidnapped Kimmel according to ABC. The network had this to say in a press release, “Damon has taken matters into his own hands. The Oscar winner accepted Kimmel’s invitation to finally be a guest on his show tonight, but then arrived at the JKL studio this morning and promptly took Kimmel hostage.” No word if any ransom was offered and if anyone would pay it if it were. So I guess we will have to tune in to see one of late night’s greatest rivalries tonight to see what happens next? Although I kind of like the idea of Kimmel remaining taped up as Matt Damon hosts the show. What about you?