Lena Dunham is on Jimmy Kimmel Live tonight and for some reason he brought some animals into her green room. She held the pig and he held the pussy…cat. They say you are the animal you hold, right? That is why I always hold female dogs in heat!
Keanu Reeves is back as Jack Traven and looks like his age has finally caught up to him. Although, he still looks exactly the same as he did in 1994.
Yesterday, he revealed the first trailer for Speed 3: A Reasonable Speed on Jimmy Kimmel Live, and it looks a roller coaster ride. You know, the one you would take your toddler on. So if the first two Speeds were too way fast for you, then Speed 3 is perfect adrenaline ride for you. It’s as thrilling as riding a Stair Lift.
Plus, the ending is perfect!
It was the moment that has been over a decade in the making and yesterday it finally happened on Jimmy Kimmel Live! No, Matt Damon was not finally a guest on the show. Instead, his arch nemesis and him went to couples therapy and they finally worked through their problems. By the end of the session, I am not sure they truly did but they did hug it out. So much so, I think Ben Affleck should be jealous.
Jimmy Kimmel Live changed up Mean Tweets this time. Instead of doing them all in one segment, they scattered them throughout the week. Since their work week ended today, they compiled them all into one video filled with A-Listers getting bashed by strangers on Twitter. The victims are Jeff Bridges, Kristen Bell, Benedict Cumberbatch, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Bette Midler, Liam Neeson, Emily Blunt, Salma Hayek, Andrew Garfield, Jack Black, Halle Berry, Tobey Maguire, Naomi Watts and George Clooney. Some handled it better than others, and other showed their haters who’s the Tony Danza. Sherlock responded in a way that would Beyonce would be proud and The Rock got his rocks off with his response; and that is why we love those men! Well almost all of us.
Earlier this week we met Pizza Rat, and today we are meeting Milkshake Squirrel. When the squirrel saw that some New Yorker threw out a perfectly good milkshake, she went into the trash, got it out and drank it. How she chugged it like that and didn’t get an ice headache, is a secret I want to know.
Now back to the NYC animals who are cleaning up the city by eating our leftovers, what do you think we are going to see next? The Fast Food Roach? The Pretzel Pigeon? The Hot Dog Dog? The Knish Kitty? What?
BTW while the animals in The Big Apple are eating anything but, the ones in Los Angeles are much healthier. Jimmy Kimmel Live captured some hidden video of Chihuahua Kale sneaking some of the green stuff.
The top animal makes me proud to be NYer and so does the bottom one!
Tonight during the Emmys, while Jimmy Kimmel was presenting Best Actor in a Comedy, he ate the winner’s name so we don’t know who really won the award. He claims it was Jefrey Tambor for Transparent, but there was nominee who wasn’t happy with the results. That nom is Joey Tribbiani, I mean Matt Le Blanc, who was nominated for playing himself on Episodes. So much so, he gave Kimmel a finger, the middle one.
I don’t know why the Friends star thought he won because barely anyone else thought he had a shot, did you?
Dancing with the Stars has been announcing who will be joining the show next season and up until last on night, there was no one to really care about. Then yesterday, Gary Busey got on his horse and rode on over to Jimmy Kimmel Live to announce he will be dancing on the show this season.
I am sure he will be the first one to go because he is too heavy footed. In a way, and I mean this nicely, it’s like, if Frankenstein were on the show. He could surprise us, but it’s Gary Busey.
Does he have your vote?
Here is who else is competing and who they are dancing with:
Alek Skarlatos partnered with Lindsay Arnold
Alexa PenaVega partnered with Mark Ballas
Andy Grammer partnered with Allison Holker
Bindi Irwin partnered with Derek Hough
Carlos PenaVega partnered with Witney Carson
Chaka Khan partnered with Keo Motsepe
Gary Busey partnered with Anna Trebunskaya
Hayes Grier partnered with Emma Slater
Kim Zolciak Biermann partnered with Tony Dovolani
Nick Carter partnered with Sharna Burgess
Paula Deen partnered with Louis van Amstel
Tamar Braxton partnered with Valentin Chmerkovskiy
Victor Espinoza partnered with Karina Smirnoff
When it comes to who is going to win, I think it will be Victor Esponoza, the jockey who won the Triple Crown this year. I also think that Alexa Pena-Vega will come in second. But then again, I never get this stuff right, so Gary Busey will probably win the Mirror Ball Trophy! Which is fine with me. Until he is eliminated, make sure to light a candle for Anna Trebunskaya because she is going to need all the divine intervention she can get to get through this.
Jimmy Kimmel Live created an ad for Donald Trump’s Presidential Campaign and it’s great! Why is it great? Because I say that it is great. I don’t have to tell you why it is great, I just have to tell you that is great and you will believe me that it is great.
Just like all of Donald Trump’s supporters believe that he will make America great again just because he says he will make America great again.
Miley Cyrus was on Jimmy Kimmel Live yesterday and she didn’t wear a shirt. Instead, she wore some pasties on her t!ts to cover up her nipples. Since the ABC late night host is a man, he couldn’t help to comment about that fact and she couldn’t help but to talk about them. So much so, she said nipples and t!ts 9 teams each in less than 7 minutes on broadcast television.
If this is what the VMAs are going to be like, I think I will skip them. Actually, I wasn’t planning on watching them, are you?
We know that there are a lot of humans who seem to do whatever Donald Trump tells them to do, but will dogs do the same? Jimmy Kimmel Live did an experiment and he played the video from the Presidential candidate’s Iowa press conference of him saying sit down over and over again for four four legged friends. How many obeyed him? The answer is 3 out of the four did, and they were also the 3 white dogs. The one brown puppy who didn’t listen was taken away and never heard from again.