Seriously? OMG! WTF? » Johnny Depp
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Johnny Depp goes to prison
July 20th, 2016 under Johnny Depp. [ Comments: none ]

Hollywood Vampires are in San Fransisco for a gig on the 22nd, and during their time off they decided to see some of the sites there. One of those tourist attractions was Alcatraz Federal Penitentiary and Johnny Depp posed for a photo inside of Whitey Bulger’s cell. I can’t decide if prison agrees with him or not. But I do think he sexes up the place. What do you think?


Amber Heard machete kills her marriage to Johnny Depp
May 25th, 2016 under Johnny Depp. [ Comments: none ]

Johnny Depp and Amber Heard are getting a divorce just 15 months after they say I do. According to TMZ, she listed their day of their separation as Sunday, just three days after his mom passed away.
The two have no children, but they will always have that apology video that they made for the Australian Government. On that note, no word who gets the dogs. This might be a fighting point for the two of them since they don’t have a prenup.
You would never know Depp was going through so much pain because he seemed perfectly fine while doing press for Alice Through the Looking Glass this week.


Johnny Depp can’t wait to get out of Donald Trump
February 19th, 2016 under Donald Trump, Johnny Depp. [ Comments: none ]

Last week, Funny or Die released the ’80s movie of the week Donald Trump’s The Art of the Deal starring Johnny Depp and many wondered if Captain Sparrow was really under all of that makeup.
Today, FOD released a behind the scenes video from the shoot and you can see the actor take off the layers of prosthetics to reveal his true face. As he pulled the foam from his skin, you can see the anger he had playing the Presidential candidate and couldn’t wait to get out of that costume. Can you blame him? I wouldn’t want Donald Trump on me either. Even with all of his money.
To see the full movie, then click here!


Johnny Depp is Hollywood’s most over paid actor!
December 23rd, 2015 under Johnny Depp. [ Comments: none ]

There was time when Johnny Depp was box office gold and those days are over. That is because Forbes declared him Hollywood’s Most Overpaid actor. This year, he returned just $1.20 for every $1 he earned. How awful is that? The next person on the list is Denzel Washington who returned $6.50 for every dollar earned.
Also on the list is Will Ferrell, Liam Neeson, Will Smith, Christian Bale, Channing Tatum, Brad Pitt, Ben Affleck and Tom Cruise. Missing from the list is last year’s loser, Adam Sandler.
I think we can agree all of those men are not worth what they used to be worth. Out of all of the people on the list, I was most excited to see Will Smith on it. I remember the good old days movie, when he did films we enjoyed. Ever since Pursuit of Happyness, all of his movies have sucked.


Johnny Depp, Steven Tyler, Jim Carrey and who invited Adrien Brody?
July 30th, 2014 under Aerosmith, Jim Carrey, Johnny Depp. [ Comments: none ]

Steven Tyler Instagrammed this photo of himself with Johnny Depp, Jim Carrey and, I assume, a very stoned Adrien Brody. I get why the Aerosmith singer, Jack Sparrow and Ace Ventura are all hanging out like bros; but why is the guy from The Piano with them. Yes, he’s an Oscar winner, but he is no icon like the other three. I mean, I guess I can photoshop him out the photo to make it the most awesome picture since Liza Minnelli’s wedding one with Dame Elizabeth Taylor and Michael Jackson. But he’s there so I’ll leave him.
Now forgetting about him, how bitching is it to see Depp, Carrey and Tyler hanging out together? Way like cool! Seriously, how is that fire alarm not going off? Because those three are too hot to handle! They are a total three-alarm fire.


Johnny Depp can’t stop kissing Jimmy Kimmel!
April 8th, 2014 under Jimmy Kimmel, Johnny Depp. [ Comments: 1 ]

Johnny Depp made his second appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live yesterday and once again it was something to kiss and tell about. The hunky actor kissed the ABC late night host the first time he was on the show and he came prepared last night to do it again. The Cry Baby brought along some Chapstick, put it on his lips and Kimmel did the same and placed it some other parts of his face too. Then after a brief confirmation that it was going to happen, Jimmy leaned in for the kiss and Depp happily obliged.
If someone doesn’t get these two a room soon, I don’t know what could happen. Since I don’t know what could happen, I will just use my imagination to picture what might happen. Let’s just say, I don’t think the MPAA would give it anything less than an NC-17.


Johnny Depp explains why he’s wearing a woman’s engagement ring!
April 4th, 2014 under David Letterman, Johnny Depp. [ Comments: none ]

Earlier in the week, Johnny Depp confirmed his engagement by showing off the diamond ring he is wearing on that finger. People wanted to know why one of Hollywood’s most wanted actors would being doing that. So yesterday when he was on The Late Show, David Letterman asked him about it. Captain Jack Sparrow explained that the ring he bought for Amber Heard was too big for her but the perfect size for him. So he kept the original one, wears it on his hand and bought her a new one to wear on her’s.
Whatever the reason, I think more men should proudly wear diamond engagement rings like him. What do you think?


Johnny Depp confirms engagement with a chick’s ring on that finger!
March 31st, 2014 under Johnny Depp. [ Comments: none ]

It has been rumored for months that Johnny Depp and Amber Heard are engaged and over the weekend the actor confirmed the news to AP.
Edward Scissorhands has been anything but conventional throughout his life and the latest way he is showing us that is by wearing a woman’s diamond engagement ring on that finger. Or as he put when he was asked if he was engaged, “The fact that I’m wearing a chick’s ring on my finger is probably a dead giveaway. Not very subtle.” No it isn’t, and that is one of the only things he has ever done that hasn’t been subtle.
You know, I hope he started a trend of men wearing diamond engagement rings. Why should it only be us women that have to tell the world we are taken? Why can’t men show everyone that they are not available?
Now back to Depp for a second, all of those years of smoking have really effected his voice. As in he sounds like smoker and it kind of makes him less attractive to me because it is so not sexy. Do you like the sound of his deeper voice?


Johnny Depp didn’t get the girls in high school
July 2nd, 2013 under Jimmy Kimmel, Johnny Depp. [ Comments: none ]

Ever since Johnny Depp was on 21 Jump Street, every girl in high school has wanted to make out with him. But when Johnny Depp was in high school, he could barely get any girl to kiss him.
Yesterday the man who never ages was on Jimmy Kimmel Live! yesterday and Depp kissed him on the cheek and then twice on the lips (he also kissed him again on the lips at the end of the interview, but that is not pertinent to the story). After their liplocks the ABC host declared, “That’s more kissing than I did in all of high school.” To which Depp replied, “Me too.” Wait, what? Were those girls idiots? I am sure now they feel that way because they could’ve been telling their grandkids that their first kiss was with Jack Sparrow, but no, they missed their chance. Dumb b!tches. If I went to high school with him, I would’ve done more than just kissed him. I mean look at him.
But now back to him, what does he attribute as the reason why those girls missed out on all that is him. He said back then, “In high school, I was kind of the long haired.” I don’t know what was wrong with them, I would’ve thought that is something to grab hold of and run my fingers through. Oh well, their loss or should we say keep?
After those kisses they went on to talk about more stuff, but to me is was all wah wah wah because all I could think of was what were those girls thinking?
Now when it comes to Kimmel, he had a really good night. Not only did he get 4 kisses from Johnny Depp, he also got kissed on the lips by Rebecca Romijn. No word if after that lip exchange, if Jerry O’Connell gave him a matching black eye for kissing his wife even though she kissed him.


The new Lone Ranger trailer with a lot less Tonto
April 17th, 2013 under Johnny Depp. [ Comments: none ]

The final trailer is out for The Lone Ranger and this time the title character is featured more than his sidekick Tonto. While it makes the film that comes out on July 3rd seem a lot more watchable, it still doesn’t make me want to go see. If I want to see a modern day action flick set in the past, then I will re-watch Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter instead. At least that movie was in on the joke.


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