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Madonna, you keep on pushing my love over the Borderline
June 10th, 2016 under Madonna. [ Comments: none ]

Back in 1983, Madonna burst on to the scene with her song Borderline. The song made her Internation star, so you would think that she would never destroy it and leave it just as it has always been.
Yesterday, on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon she performed her first huge hit and it was horrendous. She slowed it down and lowered the accompanying music to the point that you could hear her singing voice. There are a lot of things that Madonna is as a performer and having a great singing voice is not one of them. She was able to hide that fact throughout her career behind the music, but here you can hear it. Which I would’ve forgiven for her, if she didn’t take all the joy out the song.
I actually listened to this performance all the way through, hoping it would get better but it never did. It had me losing my mind half way through. I kept praying she was going to do what Ike and Tina Turner did with Proud Mary. You know start off slow and finish it off fast, but she never did.
I don’t know why she did with this Borderline. I’ve seen her in concert a few times, and she has been great. But this intimate performance sucked more than well, you know where I am going with that.
I get it, she is ageing and she wants the song to age with her. Then why is she so desperate to look, act and dress young? But that is a whole other rant.
So Madonna, please leave your old hits along and just screw up your new songs.
Oh and what is up with her stealing Gwen Stefani’s fashion sense.
Finally, you can listen to her original version of Borderline below to cleanse yours ears.


Madonna is a scary clown
March 10th, 2016 under Madonna. [ Comments: 1 ]

Madonna is a sad because her son Rocco would rather live with his dad than her. So yesterday in Melbourne she dressed up as a clown and sang the depressing Broadway tune, Send In the Clowns. I don’t know what is scarier, her singing the song or how she looks dressed up as the circus attraction. I say both together prove why kids and adults have nightmares from something that is supposed to bring us joy.


March 3rd, 2016 under Madonna. [ Comments: 1 ]

Madonna shared a topless photo of herself holding a horsewhip getting her horses, as she says, ready for the show. By the looks of the horses’ faces, just like us, they don’t want to see that. Her back is so muscular that it isn’t sexy at all. So imagine what she looks like from the front? Let’s not.


Madonna the Material Girl got caught in some material
February 10th, 2016 under Madonna. [ Comments: none ]

When Madonna sings Material Girl she has her backup dancers throw a long thin veil on her; and during a recent show in Bangkok, I think she regretted that decision. That’s because it got caught on her and as they were pulling it off, it almost knocked her over. Somehow she was able to maintain her balance as she eventually helped them get that lace material off of her unscathed. Embarrassed and pissed, but unscathed.
You would think after The Brits, she would’ve learned not to have her backup dancers pull things off of her. Guess not. Maybe now she did, but I doubt it.


Not a good angle for Madonna
February 9th, 2016 under Madonna. [ Comments: none ]

Madonna had someone take a photo of her from above as she was getting ready for a concert in Bangkok; and I think we can all agree this is not a good look for the singer.
At first, I thought it was her son Rocco before I read the caption saying it was her. Which now has me wondering who Rocco looks like because I always thought he was Guy Ritchie’s mini-me; but now I am thinking he might be hers. Who do you think their son looks more like?


Jessica Chastain is an unapologetic bitch as she slaps Madonna’s butt
November 9th, 2015 under Madonna. [ Comments: 2 ]

Madonna is adding to her squad, first she had Katy Perry and now she added Jessica Chastain to the list. While performing in Prague on Saturday, she invited the actress on stage to be her Unapologetic Bitch of the night. Then when the Material Girl was on the walking on the floor like a dog, Chastain slapped her butt a few times.
I guess that is the new I kissed a girl and I liked it for the decade for the Rebel Heart. Now it’s all I spanked a girl and I liked it.


Katy Perry spanked by Madonna and she liked it
October 28th, 2015 under Katy Perry / Lady Gaga/ Ke$ha, Madonna. [ Comments: 4 ]

A video posted by TETRIS (@itstetrisbish) on

Taylor Swift has her squad that joins her on stage at concerts and Madonna wants you to know she has one too. She introduced one of the members and it is Katy Perry. Even though the California Gurl didn’t want to go on stage, she knew better than to say no to Madonna. Even though she said yes, Madonna still spanked her a$$ and then dry doggy styled her. And it looks like she liked it.
To me this is just a desperate cry for attention on both of their parts. I mean when was the last time we truly focused on them for their music and not the things they did to get press? Probably when they both had their Superbowl performances. Both of which were major let downs.
Time for them to get back to the music because if not people like Taylor Swift and Adele will continue reigning supreme over them while they continue their desperate attempts to keep themselves current.


Conservative Madonna
August 4th, 2015 under Madonna. [ Comments: none ]

Madonna is known for being anything but conservative, but the singer showed that side of her yesterday. She shared a photo of herself looking like a secretary who would work on Mad Men and I think the styling works for her Rebel Heart. So much so, I think she needs to dress like this more often, when she is not on the stage singing.
Don’t you like seeing her looking like this?


Madonna reminds me of a charging bull
August 3rd, 2015 under Madonna. [ Comments: 1 ]

Madonna posted this photo and I couldn’t figure out what she looked to me. At first she reminded me of a dilophosaurus from Jurassic Park. But then it hit me, she looks like a bull that is about to mow down a bunch of schmucks in the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona. Either way, she is going to haunt my nightmares tonight.
What do you think the Material Girl look like in this picture?
BTW I won’t say anything about her needing to get her roots done. I think that speaks for itself.


What did Madonna do in Drake’s mouth?
April 13th, 2015 under Degrassi, Madonna. [ Comments: none ]

Madonna did a Britney Spears and brought Drake on stage with her at Coachella. She had him sit on a chair and then she proceeded to make out with him. Since the Degrassi star believes YOLO, he kept touching her hair as she passionately kissed him. The Material Girl didn’t like his hand on her mane, so she did something in his mouth. What she did we don’t know, but his face says it all.
So what do you think she did? Did she bite his tongue? Did she spit in his mouth? Or did the 28 year old realize he just made out with a woman twice his age? I say all of the above.


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