Madonna did a Britney Spears and brought Drake on stage with her at Coachella. She had him sit on a chair and then she proceeded to make out with him. Since the Degrassi star believes YOLO, he kept touching her hair as she passionately kissed him. The Material Girl didn’t like his hand on her mane, so she did something in his mouth. What she did we don’t know, but his face says it all.
So what do you think she did? Did she bite his tongue? Did she spit in his mouth? Or did the 28 year old realize he just made out with a woman twice his age? I say all of the above.
Madonna was on The Tonight Show yesterday and she told Jimmy Fallon she is a closet comedian. So the NBC late night host told the musician to try some of her standup on the show right then and there. For the first time in decades, she had her cherry popped by telling jokes about all the younger men she’s been dating recently. Her jokes were so bad, it made her latest album sound as good as Like A Virgin.
So down a pitcher of watered down beer or several Long Island Iced Teas and maybe you will think she is funny. You know, practice the same method you would at a comedy club to make those comedians funny.
Jimmy Fallon and The Roots performed Holiday with Madonna and some classroom instruments on tonight’s The Tonight Show. What more can you say about their performance of one of her earlier hits, but that it was totally bitchin’.
Madonna posted a photo of herself with dirt on her face and it’s probably the cleanest she’s been in a while. OK, that sentence might’ve gotten me swimming in some muddy waters. I’ll stop there before I am like a pig rolling around in some mud!
Justin Bieber was photographed giving Madonna a close-eyed kiss on her cheek, so do the two singers have something to tell us? Only that they will be on The Ellen DeGeneres Show tomorrow.
But for a second imagine if they were singing duets together in the bedroom? After all, he is about the right age for her and she is perfect for him. How hot would this couple be?
UPDATE: According to this clip from today’s The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Madonna would consider dating Justin Bieber since he is just a year younger than the youngest man she has dated. Make it happen guys, make it happen!!!
If you’ve ever “read” Madonna’s book Sex, then you know can pretty much assume she likes whiplash. Unfortunately for her that is not the type of whiplash she suffered on Wednesday when she was accidentally pulled off the stage during a performance at The Brits.
The injured singer told The Jonathan Ross Show, “I had a little bit of whiplash, I smacked the back of my head. And I had a man standing over me with a flashlight until about 3am to make sure I was compos mentis.” She then went on to explain that she was supposed to be able to untie the cape before the incident, but it was tied too tightly. She added, “I had two choices: I could either be strangled or fall, and I chose to fall.”
After the incident, she made another decision, “No more capes. Cape fear is over.” I guess she will leave flying to R Kelly from now on.
Some say that Madonna‘s latest album has caused her career to take a tumble, but not as bad as the one she took tonight during The Brit Awards.
The singer was performing her new song Living for Love dressed in a cape. Then when her servants were to pull it off of her, they wound up pulling her off the stage instead. She fell back 3 steps, but didn’t miss a beat. She kept on performing as though nothing even happened.
So what did happen? She explained on Instagram, “Armani hooked me up! My beautiful cape was tied too tight! But nothing can stop me and love really lifted me up! Thanks for your good wishes! I’m fine! ❤️#livingforlove”
So I guess you can say The Material Girl was done in by material.
Madonna has a very very toned body for a woman who is 56 years old or any age to be honest, and that means she doesn’t really have a butt. At least not one nearly as huge as the Kardashians or Nicki Minaj’s. So how does the Material Girl get people talking about her a$$? She wears a thong that pushes it up over the borderline and makes it looks like something Sir Mix A Lot would be singing about.
BTW I am sure after Kanye West saw this, he ran out to buy it for his wife. Do they even make one in her size?
Madonna shared this photo of herself sucking on her thumb and she said “Bad habits die hard.” Out of all the body parts I imagined in her mouth, a thumb was not one of them. I also didn’t picture it being part of her body that she would be sucking on. If you get, where I am going with this thought…
Madonna shared this photo of 3, yes 3, people putting on her Givenchy boots and none of those people were the singer herself. Proving it is good to be the Material Girl, who has enough money to pay three women to do something she could do on her own.
Now, I want to know how many people it takes to put on her underwear. We know how many people it takes to get her out of them.